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The Peace of Mind Retirement Planning Process

What does it look like to build a  retirement-focused financial plan?   What are all the steps? What do you have to  do? What information do you have to provide?   In today's episode, we are going to lay it all  out, super simple, for you. And our goal is,   by the time you get through this particular  episode, you're going to have a clear   picture. You're going to understand what it  takes so that you can have a secure, safe,   retirement, peace of mind to and through  retirement. We hope you enjoy this episode. To learn more about how to secure your retirement   and all the different elements you need  to know, please subscribe to our channel   and hit the bell so you'll be notified  when we release episodes every Monday. We have helped hundreds of our  clients gain clarity and get   on the path to a great retirement.  Now it's your turn.

Let's dive in. Welcome, everyone, to our Secure Your Retirement  podcast. Today is a very special episode. We're   going to kind of take you through our  financial planning process really from   an A to Z. And we get the question all the  time, how does this look? Does it work? To   be able to really help us to do that, we  have special guests with us. We have Nick,   who is here in our office; and we have Taylor,  who works with all of our clients as well,   but she does that all the way from Salt  Lake City, Utah, but she drove…

Nah,   she flew here. She came on all the way for  this episode and to be able to spend some   time with us. So thank you, Taylor, for coming  all the way out just for this special episode. Yeah, of course. But she did pick pretty good weather. She did, she did. All right. So, here's kind  of the premise of this particular episode. What   we get a lot of times is somebody who maybe has  worked with a financial planner, financial advisor   sometime in the past, maybe they never have, and  they go, "What does this look like? What's that   process look like?" So we have Morgan with us on  this episode, and Morgan's going to really be our   moderator and kind of interview us as to how this  whole thing works. So that's kind of the setup   for today so that you can understand from A to Z  how this all works.

So, Morgan, get us started. So let's assume someone has learned about us via  the website. They've seen our book. They, somehow,   have learned about us and they're ready to be  introduced. And how would they go about then,   Taylor, getting ready to do that? How would they  prepare for a personalized introduction meeting? Yeah. So first thing that we'll have someone do  is fill out what we call our financial snapshot,   and we send that over as a questionnaire  through email. And it has a bunch of   information and questions about things  like if you're currently working,   what your level of income is? And if you're  going to take Social Security in the future,   what your estimated benefit's going to be?  Or if you're taking Social Security now,   what your pension is all throughout your current  financial situation? That will help us get to   know you a little bit better and figure out  where we can help you with our services.

What if somebody's not quite ready to share all  of their information with us? How does that work? Yeah. So, Murs, I'll let you handle that one  since you have been around for a long time. So, when it comes to someone that is… And we  understand, right, it's your money that you've   taken time to build up over 30-some-odd years  and to go into a meeting with usually a complete   stranger and be able to give them everything, we  understand the apprehension around that.

But on   the flip side of the coin, you got to understand  that as a financial planner and the way that our   firm operates, we have to know quite a bit to be  able to make a decent recommendation. So we do   operate… I'm a CFP, Radon's a CFP, Nick's a CFP.  Taylor is one, too. And so as CFPs, we have to   operate under this fiduciary standard.  Fiduciary, by the way, pretty much means   that we are going to put our client's interest  ahead of our own. And the only way to do that,   the only way to make a decent recommendation,  the only way to give guidance going forward   is we need all the information really  that is pertinent to the conversation.

So if someone is not willing to  share account values with us,   or if they don't want to discuss some property  that they have or something like that, well   I'll tell you, it starts to raise a  little bit of a red flag for us because   there's a lot of things that go into all of  these elements of financial planning. And   it's one of those things where obviously,  yeah, we need to take time to build up the   trust to understand each other.

But on our  side of the table, if we can't get the data,   at the end of the day, the data is what is going  to help us make the best recommendation possible.   Then there there's holes in that data, then  we start to have issues on making projections,   understanding your risk levels, being able to  make a proper recommendation as far as what   investment strategy do we want to be utilizing.  So if we don't know all the chips on the table,   then it makes it very difficult. Ultimately,  that ends up being a separate conversation of,   "Hey, Mr. And Mrs. Client, where do  we want this engagement to really go?" Yeah.

I just wanted to piggyback on a little  bit about how Taylor opened it up because she   talked about all these different pieces that  we need. And if you think about our process,   we get some basic information. Obviously, we  want to know who you are, your date of birth,   some just basic information. But then we get right  into this idea of, well, give us an idea of where   your accounts are and what type of accounts.  So I just thought I'd ask Nick, if you could   take us through this, because you've worked a  lot with us as well around this data gathering.   Could you tell us… Maybe describe what are  the different types of accounts that people   would be submitting and why it's important to  know what those different kind of accounts are? Yeah.

So, some of the more common accounts are  IRA accounts and Roth IRAs. You have 401(k)s   that you might have built up for decades in the  past. Those are probably the most common ones,   but you can have brokerage accounts, whether  that's an individual brokerage or a joint account.   And then you also may have different annuity  accounts. So, those can be at different insurance   companies in the form of an IRA or a Roth IRA  or a non-qualified account as well. So, there's   a whole bunch of different accounts that you can  have. Some are more common than others, but at the   end of the day it's important to get the specific  type of account so that we know how to build our   recommendation, what to build our recommendation  off of, and how to help going forward. Yeah.

And I think on top of that, it's also just  a good exercise for the person that is trying to   get some advice because I'll tell you, Radon and  I, we've seen so many times where a person doesn't   know what the balance of that one account was,  where they worked for that company 10 or 15 years   ago, and so an old 401(k), or they haven't really  looked at how an account is allocated as far as   from an investment perspective. So I think it's a  good exercise not just to get all the data to us   and the information to us, but also just to take  a step back and look at what you have done so far   to get to where you are and the different pieces  of the puzzle that have come together over time.   Usually, that's a pretty remarkable thing that  you can look back and say, "Wow, I did all this." Yeah.

And I think, Morgan, you set this up and  said, "Okay, I'm thinking about meeting with you."   So, just to kind of clarify, we really work off of  what we call a three-appointment process. And so,   what we're describing right now is kind of  getting ready for that first appointment. And   so I think you asked the question, "What if  I don't want to share some things" or that's   not… so for the initial conversation, if we've  got… I always say, "Give me the basics of your   picture." Meaning I don't need to know it to  the penny, but we need to have an idea of about   what those accounts are or the different  types of accounts Nick just talked about,   and we need to know their tax classification  just so we can have a basic conversation.   And we're going to go through this  worksheet.

Now, if you don't have   this available ready when you come in, we can  do this together. So don't worry about that. But now, I just wanted to set the basis in that  initial conversation that we have. It's really   kind of this idea of are we a good fit for each  other? So, yes, this is important information.   We're going to either ask you to have it for  us ahead of time or we're going to do it while   you're here with us. So we've kind of covered the  accounts.

And again, I'm working off this first   appointment because we're going to come back  to those accounts for the second appointment.   But for right now, we're just trying to get our  baselines. So I think the next area that we start   to go into is our income part of the snapshot. So,  Taylor, would you mind breaking down the different   types of incomes somebody might be telling  us about on this? Just so we've got an idea. So if you are still working and you haven't  retired yet, then we're going to want to know what   your current salary is at your job.

And if you  have retired and if you're taking Social Security,   then we're going to ask about what your current  Social Security benefits are. Or if you have not   started Social Security yet, then there is a way  to find out what that future benefit is going to   be, so we can help you answer questions about  when the optimal time to begin Social Security   might be depending on your unique situation. So  your current income from your salary, if you're   working. Social Security, if you also have a  pension, or are planning to start a pension in   the future, then we'll want to find out what that  amount looks like. So that that can be considered   as part of your income available to you to cover  your expenses in retirement. And then any other   type of income that you have from maybe the sale  of a business, if that's part of your plan, or   from rental properties that you have.

Then we'll  also consider any rental income that you have. So we know what we have saved so far and we know  what we have coming in. I'm assuming there's also   going to be some information about what we  have going out, what we're spending, right? Yeah, exactly. We'll also want to get an idea of  what your current living expenses are, if you have   any debt obligations, if you're still paying a  mortgage or an auto loan or things like that.   If you have kids going to college or grandkids  that you want to pay for their college expenses,   then we want to know about those types of things.  And then also we can have a conversation with you   about your goals in retirement. If you want to  travel or do other things with your retirement   savings, donate to charity, whatever that  looks like for you, or have home renovations,   redo your kitchen or your bathroom, whatever.  Then we also plan those so that we also get an   idea of what your future expenses might be if  they're not regular and consistent right now.

Yeah. And I would say that category of  understanding your spending is usually   one of the more difficult ones. And  I'll paint you a little picture.   A lot of people that come to us, they're  close to retirement or maybe already retired,   but a lot of times they say you're close  to retirement, you're making good money,   and now you're starting to say, "I need to figure  out this whole retirement thing." But you're   making good money, you're paying the bills, and  you don't really pay all that much attention to,   well, what are the dollars that are going  out of the door and what categories are they? And it makes you kind of take a step back and you  got to understand where you're spending because   we see it all the time when someone flips from  their accumulation phase of life into retirement   and you don't have that employer that's paying  your paycheck anymore, and it's really all about   what you've done to save and build up for  retirement, you start to really think about,   "Well, do I need this line item in the budget or  can we cut it?" Because the worry, no matter what,   no matter if you've got 500,000 saved up for  retirement or 10 million saved for retirement,   a lot of times the worry is the same that, "Am  I going to have enough? Am I going to run out of   money?" So I think the earlier someone starts  evaluating not just how much they have today,   but also what's going to be going out the  door when they do fully retire makes the plan   so much more well thought out and more precise.

Yeah. So we're almost through it all, your  question here, Morgan. You asked a really   big question. So as we go through the snapshot,  we've kind of gone now through all the financial   stuff. Now, we have some other categories that  we're going to want to talk through. And one   of those is the estate plan. We'll ask people  about how much have they done? Have they done   a will? Have they done a trust? How old is it?  Was it done in a different state? Do you do your   own taxes? What are your goals? Do you have any  specific goals? Taylor mentioned a couple about   redoing a kitchen. Sometimes people say, "I've  got this dream vacation we've been waiting for,   and this is going to be a big expense for us, but  we've been dreaming about it.

And whenever we hit   that retirement, we're going to do it. And it's  going to be a little bit more on the expensive   side because we're going to go a lot of places and  be gone for a while. So we need to build that in." So once we have all of that conversation or  enough of that information to say, "Hey, here's   kind of the conversation," now, we can really  start to say, "All right.

What do we want to   do with that and how do we want to start putting  it together?" And typically, in that first visit,   what we're doing is saying, "Here's how we  work." And I mean very briefly, this is what   we tell people, every person, is that we really  kind of work in the very beginning by building a   retirement-focused financial plan. That's why  we need all this data. Then we're going to say,   "Look, once we know that, we'll talk about  investments, we'll talk about insurance,   we'll talk about income planning, we'll talk  about investment planning. We're going to   really kind of go all the way through." So now,  we got this sheet, so we've kind of got this   information.

That's really kind of the first  appointment. So, what's your next question? Well, so then I know that it will look like  after that as far as we've done our homework,   we've got our appointment set, you'll receive a  call from our office to confirm for the next day,   and then you'll come into the office,  and then we'll have that visit, right? That's right. So once we get through with that  visit though, at this point, we've got a good   picture. And I think at that point is when people  say, "Yeah.

You know what? I do like you guys,   or I don't," but most of the time we hope you  say you do. And we say, "We like you, too." And   so we're kind of now moving on to the next date.  And that next date is really our second visit. Okay. And what does that look like and  what do I need to do to prepare between,   or what would a person need to  do to prepare for that? Is it- Yeah. So I'm going to say this. The person really  doesn't have to do much at all at this point,   but there is some key data that, in addition  to what we've got already, that we're going   to need next. So, we got a lot… We're going to  spend with Taylor on as far as building out the   plan. But Nick, I just want to have you address  real quick, what is some of the information that   we need to get so that Taylor is going to have  everything she needs to really build out that   financial plan? Because right now, we've just  kind of got the snapshot, so there's some actual   documents that we're going to need.

Could you  walk us through what those documents would be? Yeah. Absolutely. So, what really helps us out  in creating that financial plan are specific   account statements. So, wherever the assets  are currently held, whatever custodian that is,   that could be Charles Schwab, that could be TD  Ameritrade, wherever else that is, it's really   helpful to get the most recent statement of the  account. And then it's also helpful for us to get   most recent tax return as well. So in our  preparation for creating the financial plan,   doing analysis on your specific tax return and  tax situation, and then any other statements,   401(k) statements, that you may have that  are recent are also extremely helpful for us   creating that plan and beginning to formulate  that recommendation throughout our meeting. So, then it gets all turned over to Taylor? Yeah. So now at this point's, whenever  Taylor goes to work, in addition to what's   already been done. So Taylor, could you just  walk us through what you do with all that? Yeah.

And before we do that, also, let me  interject and say, let me be the person   that Morgan was earlier of, "Well, why do I need  to give you these statements? Why do I need to   give you my tax return?" That's very personal  information. What are you going to get out of   this that I don't already see or that is going  to become relevant in our next visit together? Yeah. So this is the fun part for me because I get  to go through all of the account statements, and   we build out two things from those. One, we want  to verify the balances of your account so we make   sure that we have the right information to base  off of what your assets are so that we can make   appropriate recommendations to move  forward. But we also will go through   and look at what the holdings are in each of  your account, what exactly you're invested in,   what funds or if they're ETFs or mutual funds  or a single company stocks.

We want to know   what you're invested in because part of what  we're preparing on our end is an analysis of   those holdings so that we know what your  current risk exposure is like because that   will be part of our recommendations moving  forward, is how to make an investment that's   appropriate for the amount of risk that you  want to have as part of your retirement plan. So we'll do an analysis on all of the holdings  within your investment accounts from the   statements that you upload to us as part of our  data gathering process, and then also just verify   those amounts as part of your retirement-focused  financial plan. And for the tax returns as well,   we'll take those and do an analysis on your  tax returns to look for opportunities for   tax planning and observations and looking  forward not just for the past years of   your tax returns that have already been  filed, but for different moves that we   could possibly make to help you with your  tax situation moving forward as part of our   recommendation.

So that's what we're looking  for from your account statements and also your   tax return so that we can have a conversation  on those topics as part of your next meeting. I can't remember if it was mentioned or not,  but how do I get these documents to you? Yes. So we'll send an email out. Right now,   it's been coming from me. And we have a  little portal where you can securely upload   all of your statements and just we will  be able to access those so it is secure. All right. Nice. All right. So, just to paint a  little bit of a picture here, Nick,   could you kind of walk us through what's the  client going to get when they come in? So now,   they come in. And Taylor's been doing  all this work to get everything ready   and putting it into our financial planning  software.

What's that going to look like   to a person when they come in? How's that  going to feel? What are you going to see? Yeah. So during that second appointment, we  will go through your entire financial plan.   So, like Radon said, once we've taken  all of the data and put that into our   financial planning software, we'll go  and walk through each and every step   of that plan with you; make any tweaks that we  need to make; updates that you see, expenses,   income; and make any changes that you'd like to  see and even different scenarios that you'd like   to see. So we'll walk you through each step  of that process in the meeting. And then at   the end of the meeting, whatever you'd like to  take home, you're free to take home.

So whether   that's different scenarios, whether that's  a printout of the entire financial plan,   we can print it out or we can send it straight to  you securely. And so we do that a lot of the time.   So it's really walking through each and every step  of the financial plan, making any adjustments that   you'd like to see, and then giving that to you  so we can progress and move forward as well. Yeah. And I think I want to add a little bit more  power to what that experience is because I mean,   you just picture it, right? You've never  sat down with a financial planner before,   you've never worked with an advisor, and all  the questions in your head of "Can I retire   at 67?" Or whatever that age you have in your  mind, "Do I have enough money? What if there   is a long-term care scenario? Are we able to  afford it? Do we need to look at insurance?"   All of those questions that you've been worried  about and really didn't have all the answers to,   they start to get answered in that visit.  And we're walking you through it.

"Hey,   here's the dollars coming in,  here's the dollars going out,   here's what we've built up to work with."  And then we take it to this final spreadsheet   that ultimately we start to see a huge sigh of  relief from a lot of people that we work with. And it brings it all in on one  nice, little sheet that says,   "Here's where we are today. Here's the assets  that we have, and here's how we progress down   in our years." And we like to take it out  to age 90, 95, 100, whatever you want to   look at. And by the end of that, I would  say, part one of the second appointment,   you've already got someone who feels that there's  been a lot of value that's been delivered because   now I've got some answers to the questions that  I've had for a long time of, "Hey, can I retire?   What's Social Security going to look like for  me? How much are we going to be able to spend   in retirement?" Things like that.

So it's pretty  cool feeling being… as an advisor on the other   side of the table, being able to deliver that.  And we're not even working with the person yet. So it sounds like a lot of  information you're taking   in from that appointment. How do you  move forward from that? Do I need to   make a decision at that point? Or what  do I need to do after that appointment? So that I go back to, I say, that's part one of  the visit. And we spent about 20 to 30 minutes   on part one of the visit. Part two now goes  into what Taylor was talking about that we   have put together as far as a risk analysis.  And I'll let Taylor chime in on this,   but basically, she's done some work as far  as understanding what is in those statements,   what investments are we in, and then we also have  a risk conversation that says, "Well, forget about   how we're invested today. What does our gut  tell us about how we feel about risk?" And,   Taylor, if you want to talk to the  differences that we see sometimes   on how someone's invested versus how  they feel like they should be invested.

Yeah. So part of what we'll do when we're meeting  with you and talking about your current risk   exposure and the difference between what you're  currently invested in and what maybe you would   like to be invested in is we'll go through a  questionnaire with you to get an idea of how   much risk you want to tolerate in retirement,  and then we can kind of compare what you want   to where you are currently invested to give us  an idea of some of the changes that we might   need to make for you as part of your retirement  financial plan so that we can better align where   you currently are with where you want to be as far  as your risk exposure in your investment accounts.

Yeah. I think what we do here that's a little  bit different is I always tell people, "If you've   ever done this before, a lot of times there's  a questionnaire you get" and it's kind of like,   "Do you go to Vegas on the weekends and bet  everything on one type of gamble that you   would take over the weekend?" It's obscure. What  we do is actually look at the numbers. So we say,   "Hey, if you got $1 million and it were  down 10%," somebody might immediately say,   "It's not that bad" until we show them it's down  $100,000.

And then they go, "Whoa, I don't want   to be down $100,000." "Oh, if you're down 20%,  that's $200,000." Definitely can't handle that. So we basically walk them through those real  numbers. And then somebody comes up with their   number and they go, "Look at this point, whatever  that might be," so let's say it was 10%, "At 10%,   yeah, I'm starting to get nervous, so I  don't want to lose more than 10%." Well,   then we take them and we show them what their real  risk is on their current investments and they go,   "Oh, my goodness, I didn't realize I was that  risky in my investments." And then we talk about   how did it go last year? I mean, "That's an easy  one this year because last year the markets were   down 20%." So people go, "Yeah, I was down 20%,  too.

And I just didn't think about it from the   dollar's perspective." And so that is eye opening  to a lot of folks when we get to that point. So now, what we've done is we've kind  of worked all the way through this   information. And at this point is where we  say, "All right. We're going to send you the   financial plan. We're going to send you the  data of what we've put together thus far."   And now what we're doing is, is we say, "Look, we  want you to take a break at this point, go home,   look at what we've going to send you. And then  we come back together for a strategy meeting."   And the strategy meeting is saying, "How do  we start to look at this? How do we that?"   And I'm just going to say that we do it in a  couple of different ways. One of the things   that we do as a bucket sheet. And in that bucket  sheet is breaks this into three buckets.

So Nick,   could you kind of take us through what that  bucket sheet looks like as a part of the strategy? Yeah. So, to start with the bucket sheet, we  start with basically three different buckets.   And usually we're typically drawing this on  the board, so that whoever we're meeting with   can see it in person. And visually, it's a  lot easier to see. So you start with either   a cash…. you start with a cash bucket,  a safety bucket and then a growth bucket.   And to kind of break those down step by step, the  cash bucket is really anything that you feel…   or the amount of cash that you feel comfortable  holding.

So for everyone, that may be different.   Some people like to hold a lot in cash just for  emergencies. Some people are typically holding   smaller amounts. So that's person to  person. That's a completely personal choice.   And as long as that doesn't really negatively  affect the plan in any way, typically,   it won't. And that's just a number that we  have as part of the bucket sheet overall. That second bucket is the safety or income bucket,  and that's set basically for safety or income in   the future. And that's basically a few different  products that we recommend as part of the strategy   meeting to hold in that bucket and provide safe  and reliable income throughout your retirement.   And then the third bucket is the growth bucket.  And that's really set to grow throughout your   retirement.

The goal there is basically to have  that money so that you don't have to… you can,   but you don't need to tap into it throughout your  retirement. And typically, that will be liquid if   you need it. But really, the goal of that growth  bucket is to grow throughout the 20-some-odd   years. And then, your safety bucket will take care  of your income during retirement. So those are the   three different buckets. And we kind of basically  form our recommendation around those three. Yeah. Over the years, I've been  doing this for 22 years. Murs   has been with me now for 11 or 12  years.

How long was it? How many? 11 years. 11 years. So we started using this  bucket strategy just to make things   simple. So I just want to ask you,  Murs, what are you seeing from folks   as we started using this as to how they  get it and how valuable it is to them? Yeah, I think in one word, it's clarity.  Clarity on how things are positioned,   and confidence, as well as how this plan can  actually function. A lot of times, again,   doesn't matter how much money you got, it's one of  those things where until you see it on a screen,   until you see it mapped out for you, it's hard  to imagine that whatever money you've built up   is going to last as long as you need it  to. So once we show this cash bucket,   this safety and income bucket, and then this  growth bucket, and help someone understand,   again, personalized to them, you may have someone  that…

And we see all types of situations. You   may have someone that's got all the income that  they need, discretionary income that they need   is covered through their Social Security or their  pension. So they've got a really good situation. So their bucket sheet is going to look a little  bit different than someone else who has no pension   and just has to rely on Social Security. They're  going to need to draw on their assets a little bit   more. And so being able to kind of put those  three categories together and being able to   show someone in a very simplistic manner, this is  not… we don't want this to be complicated. Yeah,   the investing side of things can be complicated.  The income side of things can be complicated. But   if the strategy and if the client can understand  the why, why do we put money in this bucket versus   this bucket, and they can talk about it in  conversation to their friends and family,   all of a sudden it sits very well. And I  think there's a lot of power to that, right? There's some that would use a 20, 30, 40, 50-page  financial plan.

And we all know what happens with   that plan. You looked at it once or it's presented  to you once, and then you never looked at it again   because it was just too overwhelming. This bucket  sheet that we end up using as a recommendation,   and then as a final deliverable, it's a one-page  snapshot of what your life is going to look like.   And we're updating that year after year after year  because in our opinion, at the end of the day,   a financial plan, it's moving.

It is not set  in stone. It is flexible because we know life   happens, we know situations happen. And so we need  something that can be nimble with that as well. All right, Morgan, we gave you  a lot. Any other questions? Yeah. Well, I feel like these tools,   this visualization and all these  conversations are going to help   you come to a pretty good decision. What do you  do after you've taken all this information in? Yeah. We try to keep these episodes at  around the 30-minute mark just because   we don't want it to be overwhelming, but  here's where we are. I mean, at this point,   a person has a pretty good idea of how things  are, at least, going to get started, but it is   just the beginning. It is just the start of where  we are in this journey to and through retirement. And so what we're going to do, we're going  to come back together because I've got more   questions.

I think Morgan's got more questions  for all of us around this idea, "Okay, well,   I'm here. You've given me all this. So now, what  do I do next? And where do I go? And if I become   a client, what does it look like then? And how  do I take all of this hard work that's been put   into building out this plan and building out  this whole process? How do I implement it?   And what does the implementation look like  and how long does it take to implement? And   how long am I going to be having this thing  monitored? And what does that look like?" So we're going to walk you through that in  our next episode when we all get together.   Just so you know, if you're looking for  that, it'll be the end of the next month,   so in a few episodes.

But we're going to walk you  back through all of those different aspects. So I   just want to say thank you very much, Nick and  Taylor, for coming on, the special guests, with   us here on this episode. And your insight has been  very helpful on making sure we clearly understand   what it means to build a financial plan. So, thank  you. Thank you, too, Murs, and Morgan, for all   the great questions. All right, everybody, have a  great week. We will talk to you again next Monday. We hope this video has given  you some confidence and clarity   as you plan for a worry-free life and  retirement. But what else do you need?   We have created a complementary video course  called Three Keys to Secure Your Retirement.   This video walks you through step by step what  you need to do to get ready for retirement.

You   can also check out our podcast called Secure  Your Retirement. You can subscribe below. For more retirement tips, check out these  videos. Also, if you find them valuable,   please subscribe to our YouTube  channel and give us a Like.

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Don’t be a Stiff in Retirement! Flexibility is Key, Learn Why.

as you age stiffness settles into your joints and this can make it more difficult to move around and maintain an active lifestyle this video is directed at me maybe you but it's definitely directed at me because Jody is as flexible as they get but it's true as your body slows down and it ages and it gets stiff everyday activities start to feel more strenuous than they used to and that is not a good place to be a sedentary lifestyle only makes this situation worse we all see this too often in our clients and we want to help you avoid this as much as possible now we're working on my stiffness we are by playing we're working on your flexibility flexibility yeah the stiffness is there I'm good at that that part's there we're working on my flexibility but there's a lot of things we're doing we started playing pickleball down here at the YMCA on Tuesdays and Thursdays and we playing around Robin and that we stretch before we play We stretch after that's new for me right but it really it's an interesting so sport because there's probably 60 people there probably and most of them are older I would say all of them are 50 and older some are 66 like me and we don't see many people stretching before or after and we also see many injuries you know the woman who runs the program whose name also Jody with an eye with an eye she can't stop talking about this enough but people just don't seem to listen well last week we were playing some guy fell down and he tore his Achilles tendon and you also can get um tendonitis by not stretching you know we're we're learning more and more about stretching or I am because again you're really good at this with yoga um but it is really critical to stretch as much as you can so that you can overcome the stiffness and stay limber well into your 60s 70s and 80s you know flexibility benefits you in more ways than one it improves your movement overall and it helps prevent simple strains and injuries including muscles and disc streams shoulder strains and certainly that ever present backache that many people feel you know a friend of ours mom just fell and broke her hip and you know there's a whole concept about we're not talking about muscle today but having good muscle around your bones and also stretching your muscle is going to improve your past texture it's going to help or prevent you know Falls and injuries and it's also going to enhance your joint range of motion which is important you know we live active lives with as we've told you pickleball golf cycling you work out using weights I do yoga Power Yoga with weights sculpting classes but everything you do is more stretching but that's new for me and um you know all through my career I didn't do a lot of stretching I did a lot of like hit power like weight training actually rushed to the gym right and get to a routine it was all about doing the circuit as quick as you could to get to work but yoga and besides yoga you know you just want to make sure that you are becoming more flexible because it has benefits to your outside muscles it also has benefits to your internal organs as you twist and stretch my One Yoga calls it in my one yoga teacher calls it internal housekeeping whenever you sit and do like a real deep stretch it really helps your organs on the inside I think we should have called this video yoga for a more flexible life how's that it wasn't going to be about that but I'm happy to Pivot and talk only about yoga if you want well it is it is good that you do it five days a week and I think what I'm gonna do I'm gonna commit to when we get back to Connecticut I'm going to come to yoga one day a week wow that would be great but it's got to be an easy one not one of these crazy hard ones you know I was a college athlete and I loved going to the gym and I loved competition for the greater part of my life you know um for years as I was working and raising children you know I just fit the gym in like whenever I could you know and I lost focus on really what I was trying to accomplish while I was there well we were trying to accomplish checking off the box right and it has to be more than that because we lost Focus we didn't really worry much about flexibility until after we retired and I think that that's really the main point of this episode today is really the importance of stretching right yeah because you know it's funny when you're just fitting the gym into your lifestyle you really don't stretch before and you really don't stretch after because you have a amount of time so you jump into your class or your weights or your cardio and then you leave but now that we're retired we have learned the benefits of stretching and flexibility I preach it all the time in our house and I'm hopeful that Mark will start too I'm going to start yeah I am I can almost touch my toes now I'm working on that so let's talk about the three main types of stretching because you know just saying we should stretch isn't enough you really need to know what you're doing and you need to be careful but there's three types of stretching you can do with little or no equipment or investment of of any kind right and really if you think about it the first one is something you did way back in grade school right it's called static stretching this is where you hold a position for 30 seconds and then relax you repeat it again three to five times before moving to another stretch and the big key here is not to bounce right so not to lean over to touch your toes and then bounce bounce bounce lean over and hold for 30.

This is like touching your toes yep now I can just about touch my toes but you should get up and show them you can put your hands flat on the floor I can in front of your feet I can which is that's about this much further bent over than me which is a new kind of accomplishments which shows you that that the more static stretching you do the further you're going to go I'm feeling really inadequate right now I do you just need to work on it I'm going to I have to the second type is called isometric stretching right so this is similar to static stretching you hold the position and gently stretch your muscle during the stretch and then you hold the pose for 15 to 20 more seconds Contracting and relaxing your muscle during that time I I don't get it can you please show us what you're talking about because I don't know what it is but this give me anything this stretching will improve your strength and flexibility because you're flexing and releasing your muscle it's just like jumping jacks okay well what is there a what's the third so the Third Kind this is where you're going the third type is dynamic stretching oh that's Jumping Jacks and burpees right well kinda but not really so this involves actively moving your muscles and joints in a set Motion in repetition for usually 10 or 12 times so it's more like you know like head rolls like you want to really roll your head around and you roll your head at me all the time the other thing it could be is like walking lunges or leg swings or even hip circles the idea is to stretch a little further each time using fluid movements feeling very inadequate I definitely need help will you help me well if it's you all and you in particular are open to help there is so much research about stretching and I have to tell you I'm gonna hold you accountable for this because you just declared you'd go to yoga that which is like huge I can't wait to call Courtney and tell her you'll be there okay and um thing is the make you can actually see actually feel and you get looking forward to kind of pushing a little bit harder without bouncing in each one of them you know it's funny I do stretch using my freeletics app it is a warm-up and then I work out with burpees and push-ups things like that and there's a stretch at the end but I'm actually just thinking it's just again checking the Box well I should do this move and I should do that move but I'm not really doing it with the intent of becoming more flexible right and I think that's a mind shift that I have to have because your yoga five days a week I mean you're just incredibly limber and stretchy and I'll tell you it helps me with my physical wellness vision of not only being physical physically independent right but being able to get down and up on the floor with great grandchildren grandchildren you know and even continuing to play sports I think it's really important all right I'm gonna do this jumping jumping stretching you are yeah okay I'm gonna do it I'm gonna do it three days a week 15 minutes of stretching I'll take pictures I'm going to start I'm going to start with rolling my eyes and then my head you know like anything to get the benefits you really have to do it you know consistently and you know over time and but you will see the results when I started yoga I could barely touch my toes now I can lay my hands flat on the floor and actually the other day when we were playing golf and I was on the golf cart and we were parked I actually went down to stretch and I went below my feet you know down to a rock so but it's it's encouraging I think well listen it's something that is really important and and we know it's important I I'm not doing it and I need to do it you do which and I'm making a commitment to you to do more stretching good right now if you thought this video was great we hope you did this next one finding your path to physical wellness besides looking at creating healthy physical habits and routines we're going to take you on a journey to create a vision for your physical wellness so watch this next video next

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Retirement Planning: Are you Ready for Retirement? with Oak Harvest Retirement Success Plan

[Music] welcome to the retirement income show on Market Lane alongside the CEO and founder of Oak Harvest Financial Group that of course is Troy sharp Troy is a certified financial planner professional his team at Oak Harvest is incredible if you want to go to the website to learn more elk Harvest Oak Harvest works as well a lot of great information on the website you can learn about Jared Kinney Ryan Kenny you can learn about Chris Paris Jessica canella the whole team there's just a phenomenal team Oak Harvest and of course you can always go to the YouTube channel there's over 300 videos on there about any topic you can think about in the financial world the retirement world uh it's phenomenal and there's no cost you subscribe you'll know when all the new ones are out but there's no cost to any of that YouTube check out Troy sharp and Oak Harvest Troy's office located at 921 oral City Way I-10 and Bunker Hill they they are here for you if you need help they would love to help they just don't know if they can help until you reach out and you can do that just by giving them a call 800-822-64-34-800-822-64 34 today we're going to be talking the retirement success plan Troy is going to explain what this is and it's the process so it's about investment planning income planning tax planning health planning Estate Planning and they all go together Social Security and Medicare are in there as well you know you've done this for a long time you sat down with a lot of people so you kind of understand the common mistakes the common things that we Overlook as well this will be good going through the retirement success plan how are you going to inform us today of this retirement success plan well just like we have as humans we have basic needs right we have that hierarchy of we need shelter we need food we need security in retirement or once we get to retirement people have their the same concerns the same questions we all have the same let's call it fears do we have enough you know can you retire when can you retire how much can you spend when you do retire without the fear of running out of money we all want to pay less tax right the government can get their fair share but not a not a penny more and whatever that fair share is it's it's defined differently based on your plan so if you take the government's plan there they want to get as much from you as possible and the tax law is set up in a way that if you don't plan for taxes in retirement oftentimes we see people in situations where if they keep doing what they're doing 200 300 500 800 we sat down with a client prospective client recently and we're doing this analysis it was well over a million dollars in taxes if he kept doing the his way of things the way that his advisor had him doing it in regards to his income plan and tax plan and retirement well there was no tax plan obviously but his income plan was going to lead create this domino effect of his tax bill being over the course of time over the course of 25 years over a million dollars in estimated taxes that he was going to pay that he simply didn't have to pay if he went about a different approach the approach that I'm going to talk with you about today as far as step three of our retirement success process the tax planning aspect so just like we have basic needs as human beings we have basic concerns when it comes to retirement and we've created the structured process and that's the beautiful thing about the retirement success plan is it's a plan that is something that is actionable but it's also living and breathing it's something we will review with you throughout the year once you're a client but it's also a process and we believe in structure here we're really big on structure and process and that keeps us organized that keeps us on schedule and that keeps us ahead of the planning curve in order to do the things that we promise for everyone that's entrusted so much to us and I'm talking about your retirement you worked for 30 years 40 years 50 years in some cases and you save up whether it's five hundred thousand dollars or five million or 50 million you need a team of people that of course are knowledgeable but before education and certifications and designations and training and experience first and foremost you need somebody that cares okay if you start there with someone that's a fiduciary and not just you can be a fiduciary and still do the wrong thing I've seen it for years in the industry where fiduciary advisors still sell mutual funds that have high fees and commissions and they can make justifications for why they're selling them or why they think you're they're in your best interest I don't believe that they are personally um we would never put someone into a mutual fund that is charging a five percent front end commission and then you know has two or two and a half percent of hidden fees and we've seen that for for years coming from fiduciary firms fiduciary advisors so you start with from Ground Zero are you working with somebody who truly cares who's truly passionate about retirement so with that philosophy in mind that's the foundation of of what we look at when we hire people here at Oak Harvest Financial Group you could have all the designations in the world all the education all the experience but if if you're arrogant if you're not humble if you're not hungry if you're not continuing strive to be continuing to strive to be a better person we don't want you to work here because that foundational element do you care about the people that you're working with on a human level if that's not there then you know we don't want any part of that type of person I don't care how much you produce how what the metrics are when it comes to how we measure advisor performance so that's the foundation now once you have someone that cares you want a structured process in place to deal with those big questions that you have the big concerns that you have so do you have enough yet it's not just a yes or no question it's a function of how much do you spend what is your health situation if you're healthy yes of course you're going to live longer most likely but are you planning for the increased medical costs in increased probability of needing long-term care or Assisted Living these are aspects that healthier people do have to absolutely be concerned about those that are less healthy it's less likely you're going to have a two or three year four or five year stay in a long-term care facility or need nurses in the home so when we talk about do you have enough and can you retire these are all the answers to those questions are function of how much do you spend what is your longevity what is your health situation your of course your family history um but not only that it's what are we doing with the other aspects of this process meaning the income planning side the tax planning side what about the health care side you know are you retiring before Medicare do we need to look at some type of Health Care planning that qualifies you to receive a subsidy so you're not paying two thousand dollars a month for both spouses for health insurance that maybe we get it down to 400 a month or 600 a month or maybe no out-of-pocket costs whatsoever for health insurance premiums you can do that with proper planning but you need the right type of asset structure meaning if you have all your money in retirement accounts this is where tax planning comes in when you take money out that goes on to your 1040 your tax return and then you probably aren't going to qualify for as big a subsidy as if you had money saved and non-ira accounts so this the structuring of income planning tax planning Health Care planning and then of course the estate side of things this is all what the oak Harvest retirement success process the retirement success plan is and that's what you receive when you become a client it is a very clear and structured process that we go through but then it's also a plan that is living and breathing and we're making adjustments as time goes on tax law changes economic conditions change goals change your spending levels will change it retirement is and we've only learned this you know from years and years of experience the best delayed plans we can't just set him and forget them you know plans need constant monitoring just like a plant or a garden or you know a human being so the retirement success process we're going to get into today to to today we're going to focus on the first three steps the first step is risk management and investment planning next step is income planning so income planning is social security when do we take that it's not just based on the math which it does play a role but when we start to look at are you a conservative investor okay versus an aggressive investor investor that plays into the Social Security election decision of course your Health and Longevity plays in market conditions okay are we in a recession when you're thinking about taking social security are your accounts down 20 30 percent or did we have a really really good year last year and it looks like we're gonna have a good year this year all of these factors kind of tie in to that income planning component as well as many other we're going to talk about and then the big one we're gonna we're gonna get into is tax planning that's step three of the retirement success process and when you start to understand that retirement is a set of dominoes when you're young you work you put the kids through school you deal with traffic you deal with bosses you deal with if you run your own business all the headaches that come with that you deal with so many different things money is really really simple it's life that's complicated in the accumulation phase once we get to retirement now life gets a little bit more simple it's the money it's the decisions you have to make and the realization that every single decision you make how you invest the portfolio impacts not not only how much income you can take today but how much income you can take down the road the sequence of returns risk based on how you've invested sequence of returns is if the market goes down and you're also taking money out you exacerbate that downturn in the market because there's no paychecks coming in you're you're pulling money out and losing in the market so these decisions every single one that you make it's a domino effect it impacts everything else it impacts the tax plan it impacts the income strategy can impact the health care it can impact absolutely the estate plan so we walk you through this process so we have a plan in place we call it the retirement success plan and the goal is for you to have security first and foremost but what I find most often is the outcome is that people feel more comfortable they feel more secure and they're able to enjoy retirement a bit more because they've they have a plan in place that addresses all these certain needs but also through the continual monitoring and adjusting and conversations one thing I love about our process is when someone comes to us and we have that first meeting where it's just get to know you you know no pressure no obligation no cost we get the information we do an analysis between that first and that second visit and then when we come back on that second visit you actually get to see what it's like to be a client at Oak Harvest Financial Group because that second visit with us we're starting to go through the foundation of a financial plan we're starting to discuss the decisions that you have to make not only this year but in the future so that's almost exactly what it's like to have an annual review with us or a semi-annual review with us so I love that about our process is that you get to see before you ever decide to become a client what it's like to actually be a client when we have up on the big television screen all of the information the choices you have to make the impact of making different decisions how it impacts your taxes how it impacts your income how it impacts your account balances when we do a sensitivity analysis and and show you okay this outcome in the market and this outcome for income decisions versus this one here are the possible outcomes for those choices and that those combination of choices so you get to see what it's like to actually be a client just through our normal process of going through that first second and third visit with us many Engineers it takes a little bit longer than that sometimes it's four or five visits but our goal is to Simply provide value we want to make deposits in your life we want to provide value and you know people see that value and they say you know what I think you guys could be a great part of my financial team my retirement team and yes I want to work with you Troy so if that's you if you don't have a retirement success plan if you don't have a tax plan income plan if you don't understand the guard rails what I'm going to get into in this next segment as far as risk management in retirement give us a call we want you to leave a message there's no one here working on the weekends if you're watching this on YouTube if you're listening to this later and it's during the week sure give us a call someone will pick up but we want to have a conversation just to see what's important to you who you are if you're a good fit for what we do and of course you can ask questions to see if we're a good fit for you and then we'll schedule that first visit there's no cost no obligation we can do it through Zoom we can do it in person at the office right here at I-10 and Bunker Hill in Memorial City and that first visit we'll have a cup of coffee a glass of water and just get to know each other and if we are a good fit at that point we'll get that second scheduled we'll do the analysis that I talked about and we'll walk you through that retirement success process so you can have those big questions answered do you have enough can you retire and how do you pay less tax 1-800-822-6434 1-800-822-6434 Oak Harvest Financial Group check out the YouTube channel check out the website Oak Harvest Financial Group so when you think about this this is what I think you should really like about it it's you're working with the team at Oak Harvest for your retirement right to coming up with that retirement success plan you're the CEO it's your retirement look at Troy and the team at Oak Harvest as your Chief Financial Officer here to help guide you you're going to make the decisions they're going to give you the choices right and it's up to you because it is your retirement it's your hopes and dreams your bucket list and all of that it's really important though that they understand your feelings your thoughts your hopes your dreams it is about you so you've got to talk to them and they're here to listen and they're here to help again that number is 800-822-6434 risk management how important is it what actually is it Troy we'll explain when we come back this is the retirement income show with Troy sharp out of Oak Harvest Financial Group back right after this investment advisory services offered through Oak Harvest Financial Group LLC Oak Harbor's Financial Group is an independent Financial Services firm that helps people create retirement strategies using a variety of insurance and investment products investing involves risk including the loss of principal any references to protection benefits or lifetime income generally refer to fixed Insurance products never Securities or investment products insurance and annuity product guarantees are backed by the financial strength and claims paying ability of the issuing insurance company Oak Harbor's Financial Group LLC is not permitted to offer a No statement made during this show shall constitute tax or legal advice you should speak to a qualified professional before making any decisions about your personal situation we are not affiliated with the US government or any governmental agency this radio show is a paid placement foreign [Music]

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Have You Started Thinking About Retirement? | Women at Work | Podcast

AMY BERNSTEIN: Amy G, how do you
think you'll introduce yourself when you're no longer a writer
and contributing editor to HBR, and you're no longer a
co-host of this podcast, and all the other things you do? I know you'll
always be an author, but how else do you think
you'll describe yourself? AMY GALLO: Is it bad that that
question makes me want to cry? Because I don't have an answer. I mean, I don't know. And I know I'll have to do
a lot of work between now and that moment, whenever it
is, to actually figure out what is my identity
as a person, post all of these work identities. AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah. AMY GALLO: How about you? How do you think about it? AMY BERNSTEIN: Well,
god, it kind of sends a chill through me.

And I'm a lot closer to
that moment than you are. And you know, I've
thought about what I would do I. I so love what I do now. The idea of not doing
it kind of scares me. AMY GALLO: Right. AMY BERNSTEIN: And
then I tantalize myself in quiet moments
with what I could do. You know, I could volunteer
at the animal shelter where we got one of my dogs. I could teach, as if somehow,
anyone could go teach. AMY GALLO: You could,
I'll take that course. AMY BERNSTEIN: All right,
well, you're very generous.

I could always continue to edit. But yeah, it feels like I've
got a lot of puzzle pieces but I'm not sure they're
all from the same puzzle. I don't know. AMY GALLO: That image
of the puzzle pieces and some hunches, right? Like, oh, I could do this, or I
could do this, but not a plan. That makes sense to me. I'm not even at the
puzzle piece yet.

I'm tightly gripping
to my current identity, and can't really
imagine it going away. AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah, and
neither can I. And I probably, given my age, should start
imagining it going away. You're listening
to women at work from Harvard Business Review. I'm Amy Bernstein. AMY GALLO: I'm Amy Gallo. And clearly, we
haven't thought enough about what comes
after we stop working, or come to grips with how
we'll think of ourselves. Because retirement– even
semi-retirement– changes us. AMY BERNSTEIN: Maybe
you're in the same boat.

In your early 60s or late 40s,
either avoiding the subject or feeling uneasy about it. The experts say
we should actually be thinking about retirement
sooner than later, Amy G. So this episode is
really for women of any age. How can we prepare
ourselves to make this major life
change as smoothly and successfully as possible? Don't we all want to end up
active, engaged, and healthy, not bored, lost, and lonely? AMY GALLO: Yes, please. AMY BERNSTEIN: Yes.

Yes. So let's start by hearing
from two women who very recently retired to get a
sense of what the experience is like these days. AMY GALLO: Audrey Michaels had
been working in the aerospace industry at just one
company for nearly 44 years, and most recently, as a leader
in supply chain management, before she said
goodbye to all of that. Donna Hall's last job
before leaving the workforce was being the publisher of the
Atlanta Journal Constitution. Before that, she was in
different Vice President and executive roles
at Cox Media Group, where she worked in broadcast
for over three decades. I spoke to them about making
the decision and the transition. Audrey, Donna, thank
you both for joining me for this conversation today. SUBJECT 1: Thank
you for having me. SUBJECT 2: Yes,
thank you so much. AMY GALLO: Yeah. Well, I first want to understand
what led you to retire.

Audrey, maybe we
can start with you? SUBJECT 1: What
led me to retire. After 44 years in the
aerospace industry, I thought it was time. I actually knew, probably
five years before I actually retired. I started thinking about it
more, and more, and more. It started to become a
predominant thought in my head. So I knew I was
approaching the time. The actual date I
didn't really know, but I knew I would
know when it was time. And I knew that
because people who had retired before me that I
kept in touch with they said, you'll know. AMY GALLO: Was that
helpful advice? SUBJECT 1: It was very helpful. It was very helpful,
because it prompted me to really listen to myself. AMY GALLO: Yeah. And how about you, Donna? What led you to
make the decision? SUBJECT 2: Very
similar to Audrey. I've been in media for 37 years,
and with one company for 35.

And I'd been thinking
about it for a while, and I had been intending,
when my children got close to graduating
from high school and I had one boy
graduate a year and a half ago and another
boy nearing graduating. And had been talking
with my husband who was a stay at home
dad for 20 years, and my finance people,
the people that have managed my money. And I started talking to
about three years ago, am I prepared, and am I
ready, not just financially, but mentally, and emotionally? And looked at the organization
I was leading and whether or not they were ready, whether
or not the leadership team was ready, whether or not
the organization was ready.

And really felt like it was
time, in all of those respects. AMY GALLO: Yeah. Audrey, I see you nodding along. SUBJECT 1: I was going to just
comment on what Donna said. It's not just financially. You have to be psychologically
ready to do that, because it's a big step. It's going to be a big change. And fortunately, I watched
my father transition from his work life
to retirement, and we would talk a lot. So I felt I had
some good reference points from not
only ex coworkers, but my father as well. AMY GALLO: Yeah. It's interesting that you bring
up being ready financially. Of course, that's a huge
concern for most people. But then it's also
the mental shift. My mom worked for her
entire adult life. She retired five years ago. She said, for years,
I just can't do it. I can't do it–
meaning, financially. And then one time
she was like, OK, I'm going to retire in
five to seven years. And I was like, I thought
you couldn't do it? And she's like, I could,
I just didn't want to.

And she said, I just
had to get serious about the financial side once
I was ready, emotionally. SUBJECT 2: Yeah, so
the financial people that I work with they had me
begin filling out a clock– a weeks period of time
to see whether or not I was mentally ready. And how are you going to start
filling your time, Donna? When you stop working, what are
you going to do with your time? And the first time
I filled out a clock of what are you going to
do, how many hours are you going to sleep? How many hours are you
going to have leisure time? Are you going to read? Are you going to–
how much time are you going to find to eat
and prepare your food, like down to that
granular level. And the first time I
filled out the clock, I had like 30 hours in the
week left over and they said, hm, you're not ready,
because a bored Donna is a dangerous Donna. So let's start
thinking more about what are you going
to actually do. So I would just say
that financially, it's what we spend a lot of time
preparing for and thinking about.

But my goodness, if
that's the only thing we think about and
prepare for, we're really in a host of trouble. AMY GALLO: That exercise
is so interesting because I think we think of
retirement as stopping working. We don't think about what you'll
actually do with that time. So what a smart
exercise to go through. Audrey, did you do
anything like that? SUBJECT 1: No, I was going to
say, that was pretty granular. SUBJECT 2: It was very granular. SUBJECT 1: But I won't
say I was just frivolous.

Of course, I planned
and of course, I sought financial advice
and went to planners and went to seminars. I did the whole thing. But ultimately, you have
to make the decision. And then you just kind of
have to step out there. And prepping my mind
about it five years ahead, I knew certain things I was
going to get involved with. I knew that I was going
to be more involved with a lot of volunteer work,
because I just felt like it was my time to give back.

And thank god I have a really
busy church that I attend. And so I knew a good
chunk of my time was going to be devoted to that. But I also– I like to be active. And so I also knew
that a big part of it was going to be doing
some things that would make me feel good. Like, I play golf twice
a week with a group. And I've just picked up
pickleball twice a week. So that's four days a week with
a couple of hours of activity. And it's social, too. I've met new friends and
those kinds of things. So I knew it was going to
be a good mixture of that. And then, of course, spending
a lot of time with friends that I hadn't
talked to and family that you kind of push off.

I know Donna had a really
big and important job and took a lot of her time. And same with me, I
was traveling a lot and I just wasn't there,
even at family gatherings. I was on my stupid cell
phone or answering– oh, just give me a
minute, I got to answer this email or some
dumb thing like that, I think about it now.

But it was important
to me at the time. But I really wanted
to be present again, be present with people. AMY GALLO: Yeah. I want to come back to that
question of being present. But I first want to ask, because
you had been– both of you, sounds like, you planned
at different levels for what you would
do after you retired. How is that aligned
with the reality of what you're actually doing? How is it different? SUBJECT 1: Go ahead, Donna. SUBJECT 2: Well, so it actually
has aligned very, very well with what I'm actually doing. I'm involved in my church. I've joined a Bible study,
which it's the first time– oh, goodness, in
30 years that I've been able to do something
in the middle of the week. I've worked 60 hour
weeks for the better part of a very long time. I've had big jobs, I've
had jobs that have taken me around the country,
I've traveled, and I've just worked like a
dog for a really long time.

And so to think that
I could do something in the middle of the week,
just for me, is pretty unusual. So I'm doing that. I'm in the best shape that I
have been since I was a kid. I walk every morning for a
couple of miles with my dog. My dog is also in very
good shape right now. I'm getting a lot of
good physical activity, as is my puppy.

And I'm also taking a
class, which was my plan. I'm taking an executive
coaching class at one of our local
universities here in Atlanta, which has
been my long-term plan. And so all of that was
what I intended to do. And I'm spending a lot more time
with my boys and my husband. I love the words
that Audrey used. Being more present. Not looking at my phone during
dinner time with my kids and my husband,
who'd have thought I could do something like that. And so I love– I love the words that
she used, because I'm getting to do that as well. And it feels right,
like Audrey said, being present with the
people that I love. AMY GALLO: Yeah, gosh,
you're both making retirement seem really, really appealing. SUBJECT 2: Amy,
the water is warm. The water is so
warm, come on in. SUBJECT 1: I wish I could
have done it sooner, because I felt like I missed
so much, time has gone by fast, and missed important
things, I think, by, I'll repeat it again,
by not being present, really listening.

And I'm doing
everything, I believe, that I thought I would do. And I hope for some
surprises as well. I'm open to some new
experiences and some surprises. So yes, I think everything
is coming to fruition, just as I thought it would. AMY GALLO: Right. Yeah, I've heard
people say, I'm not ready to retire because
I haven't done X or I have one more
job in me, I know it. And it sounds like
both of you had felt like, no, I've done it. I've done what I needed
to do and there's not something else I'm really
itching to get done. SUBJECT 2: Yeah. No, I don't know that
I'm done working forever. I think I'm done working
full-time forever and I'm done running businesses. I don't wish to run
a business again. I don't want to
work 60 hours again. I don't want to
work 40 hours again. I would love to be
an executive coach and I'd love to work
20 hours a week.

I'd love to have a handful
of clients at a time. I would love to do
that, and that's been a long-term goal of mine. For the last several
years, I thought it would be my
post-retirement plan. I just don't want to
run a business anymore. And I really don't want that to
be one of my biggest priorities in my life anymore. And I think I've spent a lot
of years being distracted, no matter what I do, and being
a working mother, you know, you're guilty when
you're at work and you're guilty
when you're at home. And I don't want that anymore,
even though my boys are mostly grown. I don't want to be a
guilty wife anymore. I want to have much
more peace and balance. I want to have less distraction. And all of that said,
I will be really transparent in saying
that one of the challenges I'm facing today– and I'm entering
my sixth month– is I have a little bit of an
identity crisis right now.

You know, I've had big
jobs for a really long time and I'm struggling with what
is my value outside of my home. And so I think that
it is something I don't know that I was
well prepared for it. I think it's something
to think about, for sure. I think I was
prepared for a lot. I think I planned for more,
maybe, than the average bear. I don't think I prepared
for that well at all. And I would say,
yes, I absolutely am struggling with
an identity crisis. AMY GALLO: Yeah. What would have prepared
you, Donna, for that? What would have been some advice
that someone could have given you, you think, that
would have helped? SUBJECT 2: Well, I think at
least to think more about it.

So I do know myself pretty well. And I think if I had
at least just given some pause, given
some thought about, how are you going to feel? How are you going to process
that on a day to day basis? Is it really going
to matter to you? Yeah, darn straight, it's
going to matter to you. It's going to
matter to you a lot. And I just didn't even
think about it at all. And so would it make me
feel differently today? Probably not. But maybe I would
have been prepared for that little bit of–
it's maybe an empty feeling. And I don't know,
but I don't even know how to describe
myself right now. I could describe myself
by the jobs I had. That's how I always led. This is the job I have. And I loved it. And I had great pride. And I am wildly proud of the
young men that I've raised and the husband that I have.

But then what else? And right now I am struggling
with that a little bit. AMY GALLO: Audrey, are
you in a similar boat, in terms of the identity? Or how do you conceive
of your identity? I guess, let me actually ask
this in a very practical way. When you meet someone new, how
do you describe who you are? SUBJECT 1: I guess I don't. And I don't have the same
experience that Donna's having. Once I decided to let go of
it, I let go of all of it. And I said, here's an
opportunity to start anew, start afresh. But I will say that a lot
of my skills or the skills that I used, I'm using
in other places now. In some of the things
we're doing at our church.

I attend the board meetings. And we have a lot of
women, strong women at our congregation,
participating in the board meetings, and we're
working with the leadership. Because we have a
lot of women who were in pretty
significant positions. We're taking those
attributes and those skills and we're bringing
them, I feel, to an area where it's more meaningful. So I really didn't
have the same feelings, and I didn't think
about it much. I just said, hey,
you know, I'm just going to transfer all this
stuff over to something else.

And so if you know
how you want to live and what you want
to do– and that's why starting five
years ahead of time was so important,
because it was like, OK, do you have the right
stepping stones in place to be able to say, OK, I'm done. AMY GALLO: Yeah. And you mentioned
three years– you've been talking about it five
years, those time periods. Do you wish you had been
thinking about this sooner? Is there advice
you'd give people who are younger, earlier
in their careers, to help them get ready for this? SUBJECT 2: Well,
I would say, first of all, when I started with my
company, I was 20 years old. And when I joined
that company, my dad said, Donna, they
have a pension. And I said, what's that? And so he had to explain
to me what a pension was. And then he said they
also have a 401k. And so as soon as you can start
putting money in that 401k you need to start doing that.

And so I started saving
money for my retirement when I was 20 years old. SUBJECT 1: Wow,
that's impressive. SUBJECT 2: And so it
is never too early. Never, ever, ever. If you're just starting your
career and you're 22 years old or you're 30 years
old and you think, eh, I've got 30 years before
I'm going to call it a day. Now. And you start by a little bit
here and a little bit there. It's just steady. Steady is the name of the game. And build, and find an
expert that can help you. And while I started
thinking about it in earnest three years ago, I actually
started thinking about it 36 years ago. AMY GALLO: Yeah I was one of
those people who the first 15 years of my career, when
I was given the paperwork to opt into the retirement
account 401k or 403b, I never said yes, because I
was like, no, I need that cash.

I can't actually pay my rent– I can't do. And I felt a lot of guilt when
I got to be in my late 30s and thought, oh, gosh, I
haven't put a cent away. So as much as I agree
it's never too early, I also think it's
never too late. So if you're
sitting there going, oh no, I already messed it up. It's like no, no. Just start now. Just start now. SUBJECT 2: That's right. I'm so glad you said that. That's exactly right. So if you are 40 years old and
you haven't put a dime in, go. You must begin. It's not too late.

You have to begin. And so no matter your age,
start thinking about it and start getting help. And don't despair. Don't despair. Just go get some help. AMY GALLO: Yeah. Audrey, what was your experience
with the financial piece? SUBJECT 1: Well, I
wasn't as good as Donna, I'll tell you that. But one thing, I know my dad
and my mom would say early– and I didn't do
this until later, but they said, pay yourself.

When you're paying your
bills, pay yourself. And I was like, what do
you mean, pay myself? Pay yourself. If you can't get around
the idea of saving, then look at it as your bill,
and you need to pay yourself. AMY GALLO: One of
the other hurdles I had to get over– because
you both have mentioned financial advisors– was
I remember in my late 30s thinking, if I'm
going to start saving, I need someone to
help me do this, I don't know how to do it. And I was embarrassed to reach
out to a financial advisor, because I had more debt
than I had savings. And I thought, who would
want to work with me? Like, I don't have any
money, how would they– But one of the things that
was really helpful when I did find someone who I
felt comfortable working with is, he told me, no,
no, it's about future.

This isn't about what
you have right now. He's like, we're
working on your future. So I'm not judging you
based on what you've done. I'm judging you based on
what the decisions you make going forward, and I'm trying to
help you make those decisions. SUBJECT 2: That's exactly right. AMY GALLO: Aside from the
financial investing right now, any other advice you
would give people who are 10, 20, 30 years
out from retirement, so that they're ready to
make the transition you all have just made? SUBJECT 2: Yeah. You said something at the very
beginning about many times we think of retirement
as the end of something. And I would encourage
everyone, no matter where you are in your career,
whether at the beginning, the middle, the end, to really
think towards retirement as the beginning of something
and to plan for that.

The beginning of a new
phase of your life. Don't just take for
granted that it's all going to work out exactly
the way the back of your mind thinks it will, to really
have a plan, whether you're a planner by nature or not. It can be the beginning
of something fantastic. And while I admit to having a
smidgen of an identity crisis, that's one small part of what
I'm experiencing right now. It's the beginning
of what I hope to be a really fantastic part
of maybe 35, 40 more years. I'm young, I'm in my
mid-fifties, right? And so yes, it's the end of
what has been an amazing career, but it's the beginning
of something fantastic, a new phase of my marriage, a
new phase of maybe a new part of a career in
executive coaching, a new phase of my
parenting of my boys, and I have
grandchildren in Ohio. And so much newness, but
only if you plan for it.

And it can be so
much more wonderful if you give some thought
and intentionality about it. And so you want to
plan for it now. You want to think
about it and jot down what would bring you joy and
bring you a lot of happiness in new phases of your life. SUBJECT 1: Exactly, exactly. AMY GALLO: Yeah, well,
it's not just a new– I'm hearing– what I'm hearing
or what I'm taking away, I should say, is that it's not
the end, it's something new. But it's also a return. It sounds like for both of you,
a return to what you really value and care about in life.

SUBJECT 2: Yeah, absolutely. SUBJECT 1: Absolutely, I agree. AMY GALLO: Yeah, and that
just makes me so hopeful. So thank you both, so much. SUBJECT 1: Oh, yes,
thank you so much. This has been both a joy
and cathartic, as well. SUBJECT 2: Oh, absolutely. Audrey, it was good to meet you. SUBJECT 1: Good to
meet you too, Donna. SUBJECT 2: Amy, thank you. AMY GALLO: It was great to
hear two firsthand perspectives of what this process
is like, especially just a few months out. AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah, it was
so good to hear their stories. AMY GALLO: And, of course,
we had more questions.

So when we were thinking about
who else might help us better understand how women
are retiring these days and how we can prepare to make
that transition ourselves, Ann Bundy came to mind. I know her because
for over a decade, she was part of the same
executive coaching network as I currently am. She spent much of
her career advising individual leaders
on their careers, and also teams of people
on how to best manage big, complex
projects and changes. A few years ago, she applied
that knowledge and those skills to writing a practical
guide to retirement. It's called Encore,
Living Your Life's Legacy.

The book covers everything about
preparing for life after work. And then a few months
ago, she retired herself. Ann, thank you so much
for joining me today. ANN BUNDY: Oh, it's
my pleasure, really. AMY GALLO: So you have
both personal experience and professional experience,
then, with retirement. I'd love to just pick up on
our conversation with Audrey and Donna. Audrey talked about how she
intuited it was time to retire, she just felt it and she
knew it would be time. And Donna talked about how
really financial planning and working with her financial
planners drove the decision. How else, in your experience,
do women make this decision? ANN BUNDY: I think that
listening to yourself is really number one,
because everybody wants to offer advice. And I think that have to
really be honest with yourself, because I think there's a lot
of myths about retirement. And even though I'd
done a lot of research, talk to tons of people, it's
kind of like childbirth.

You don't know what it's
like until you personally go through it. Sometimes there's
external triggers that are making it happen. But oftentimes it's, how do
we, inside ourselves feel, and what is it that we want
from this next phase of life. AMY GALLO: Yeah. So when you work with
women who are on the cusp or trying to make
the decision, what do they tell you
that feeling is? Like what's the voice
or thoughts they have that it's really time? ANN BUNDY: I think
part of it has to do with the post COVID
workplace and feeling like they're not really
getting their groove on and maybe they're feeling
a little bit obsolete.

Maybe they've read an
article by Arthur Brooks, who writes a lot about
professional diminishment. And when I read
his work at first I thought, oh, that's so scary,
but it really is kind of true. Others, they find their
attention wandering and they can't kind of keep up. And ironically, they
don't want to keep up. And so that's kind of
a surprise to them. And they kind of keep it
quiet because it's almost like a shameful, private thing. And what I do know,
universally, is that people want to
control the discussion and the actual announcement
of it very much themselves. AMY GALLO: Yeah. What is professional
diminishment? I'm not familiar with that. ANN BUNDY: Well, Arthur Brooks
has done a lot of research. And he said that if you look
at our natural lifespan, that around 55, 60,
our performance starts to go down even if we
think it's not going down.

And that's a tough nut to
swallow for those of us who have been very much identified
with our work, our career, and serving others
in our career. But if you think
about it, you start to really watch yourself
and observe yourself without judgment, I think we
can see little glimmers of that. And I was starting
to see it in myself. And I thought, I do not
want to go out on a mistake or have a lapse. But I've seen it happen. AMY GALLO: You have,
yeah, It must be heartbreaking for those people. ANN BUNDY: Exactly. So how do you architect your
own decision making process, and how do you get
the support you need so that when you do
retire, you feel like it's a really positive experience? But let's be clear,
it is a death.

It's a death of the
way you used to be in the world and your identity. And it takes a while
to kind of reconcile this new version of yourself. AMY GALLO: Yeah,
one of the things that Donna and Audrey
really articulated, that I found helpful as
someone who's a few decades– we'll see– but a few
decades out from retirement, is that it did also feel
like either a reconnection or a rebirth. And I think that's one of the
things you say, it's a death.

And I think, oh,
gosh, that's terrible. I don't want to go there. But that's not the
whole story, right? ANN BUNDY: Absolutely not. I think what's so hard for
people talking about retirement it is associated with death,
because it's the last stop, if you will, in our
productive life before we leave this planet. And because our culture is
afraid to talk about death, we're often afraid to
talk about retirement. And so there's a lot of
mystery and shame associated with even discussing it. And during COVID, I did a
lot of observing nature, my own and mother
nature, and things have to die for new
things to come up. And I think the people
that are most successful in their retirement,
like what Audrey said, is those who plant seeds
to their next future self. So when that old
self dies off, you're saying hello to someone that
you've already been kind of cultivating and enjoying. AMY GALLO: Has that
been your experience? ANN BUNDY: Absolutely. AMY GALLO: What
seeds did you plant? ANN BUNDY: Well, I knew that
I wanted to have the latter– last part of my life be
dedicated to the arts.

I'd already spent so much of
my life dedicated to business. And I took a docent
training class so I learned how to be a
docent up in National Park where we live. And I teach kids how
to be at the farm camp, and that's really joyful. I took a fiction
writing class and I've been writing short stories
and taking workshops. I play water polo and I
have done that for 20 years. So that was my way
to offset the stress. So I'm still doing that. So I felt like I
already had a community, I had some intellectual pursuits
and I had taken some classes. AMY GALLO: Yeah. So let's talk about
the identity crisis, because Donna's very clear. And you can even hear
the emotion in her voice when she's talking
about how she's sort of feels lost in her identity.

And Audrey is sort of
like, no, I'm fine. So I'm curious, are
there any indications for how easy or
hard the transition will be, emotionally? ANN BUNDY: Yes, and I
think the clues to look at is how do you identify yourself? So when Donna walks into a room
and she hasn't met anybody, I'm guessing that
previously she would say I'm an EVP for XYZ company. And I think if she's trying
to bridge from her past self to her future self, she might
say something like, well, I'm taking my skills and
competencies as an EVP in media and merging that with
academic research that I'm learning in
my coaching program so I can be an executive coach
in service to other women. So that's bridging her world. AMY GALLO: Beautifully said. Is that something you recommend
people begin to think about before they even decide what the
next evolution is going to be? ANN BUNDY: Yes, because it
is a huge, huge transition. And I thought I
was being so smart. I had my glide path all worked
out, and it all was different.

And I had so much more
emotion than I ever thought I would possible. AMY GALLO: Yeah. And that's actually– I
don't know if reassuring is the right word, but
that's comforting, I guess, to think, even with
all the right planning, it's still going
to be unexpected, it's still going
to bring up things you don't realize it will. My mom retired a few years
ago, and I remember the summer after she retired, she was
hanging out with a friend. And he just looked her in the
eyes and said, you're unmoored. And she said– she
just started crying and was like, yes,
that's what it is. And she had prepared
a lot, financially. I do think her identity was
very wrapped up in her work. And I think that, to
me, is an indication, that it might be hard.

Although, I got the sense
that Audrey loved her work, identified as an
aerospace engineer, but she seems OK on that front. ANN BUNDY: She does. So her seeds that she had
planted with her church. So she already had
a board position, she already was very
active in that community, and they knew her outside of
her professional capacity. I think if all your contacts–
and I was guilty of this. A lot of my energy went
into work, my family, and I didn't have that much time
for friends and other pursuits.

And so it's kind of a
shock to the system. I look back on my
calendar, it was so packed. And I would spend
my days thinking, how am I going to
get this all done, you know, I'll get up at 5:00
in the morning, I'll do this, I'll do this, and this. And now it's the opposite. You have to create
all this structure for how you're going to spend
your time, and it is daunting. AMY GALLO: Yeah. So I want to get
some practical advice for those listeners
who are starting to make this transition
or think about it. And for example, if you're
planning to retire, say, in five years or three
years, but you're not ready to tell
anyone, you're still making those plans in your
head, just figuring it out for yourself, how transparent
do you recommend we be with our boss
or others at work, especially if they ask us about
our future at the company? Where will you be in five
years kind of questions? ANN BUNDY: Well, I think
you have to really look at what is the organizational
culture, what is your role, and what are the expectations
around communication.

Because I'll put it this way–
once the cat's out of the bag, you can never put it back in. And so I think it's really
incumbent upon the person that's thinking about this
to maybe make a one page, almost like business plan
of how they would actually make that transition. Because what I hear over
and over from all the women I work with is they
don't want to leave their organization bereft,
and that's very laudable, but also, you don't want to
put yourself in a situation where you're squeezed
out a little bit early or you lose your opportunity
to actually leave when you want to leave.

So I think it's a little
bit of a delicate dance. And I think you have to really
pay attention to the nuances. AMY GALLO: Yeah. And I guess it
doesn't even matter if you're going to make the
announcement next month, because I hear what
you're saying, which is that at some point, you start
to lose control of the train, right? And it either moves faster
or slower than you want, and you really need to maintain
your control of the narrative and of the process
by which you leave.

ANN BUNDY: In an effort
to serve others and serve our organizations, we overdue. And so I think the tendency
to overdo and over worry about the organization, I
think you need to turn it back to yourself and
say, let me really be very clear– what is it
that I want, why do I want it, and how am I going to get it. And I think asking those three
questions are really important. And I really, strongly
suggest that people that are at the start of
this journey get a journal and actually start to write
their thoughts and ideas. And one of the things I always
did throughout my career, which helped me a
lot in retirement, is I would do vision
boards for myself. And it's kind of like
hearkens back to high school when we make collages
with magazines– those of us of a certain age,
drawing or the stick figures.

Where do you envision your
life five years from now? Where are you living? What are you doing? And it's a right brain
activity, and for so many of us who are left brain, it's
a really good exercise, and things pop out that
you don't even realize. AMY GALLO: Yeah, I
shared an office once with someone who
used vision boards. And it was actually really
fun to see where she was and what she was
thinking for her future. I'm much more of a
spreadsheet kind of person. But those three
questions you point out, that can be the beginning
of a journal prompt. That can be the headers
on my spreadsheet. There's so many ways to
engage with those questions, no matter what type
of tool you use. ANN BUNDY: Exactly. AMY GALLO: So let's repeat
the question for people.

It's what do you want– ANN BUNDY: Why do you want
it, which is a harder question to answer, and then how are
you going to make that happen. So this goes back to the
question you were asking, how would you let
the organization know and what do you say or
what do you not say? So that you've really,
really clear and honest with yourself, because there's
a lot of myths around retirement and what's going to happen,
what's not going to happen. AMY GALLO: Yeah. You mentioned myths earlier and
I want to just pick up on that. What are some of the most
pernicious ones that you hear? ANN BUNDY: That if
you have enough money, everything's going to be fine. And that's the
most dangerous one, because if you do not have
purpose in your retirement, even if your purpose is
self-care, that's a purpose.

And I actually wrote
my down, because I would feel moorless
to like your mother, like, how do I judge a good day? What have I learned? And so I wrote down my purpose
statement and I look at it when I'm feeling
a little unmoored and it says, yeah,
no, this is what I'm meant to be doing right now. AMY GALLO: Yep, yep. We had a lot of our
listeners write in about their experiences or
questions about retirement and I wanted to just share
some of what we heard and get your reactions.

So one woman who's
60 and is planning on retiring in eight years. She emailed us asking
us for examples of how women spend that stretch
of time that she's in now. So when you know
it's on the horizon. And she's entertaining the
idea of going part-time at some point, just because
it seems daunting to abruptly stop, she told us. Any advice for her? ANN BUNDY: Yeah. So I think that taking a page
from the millennials and job crafting, how could she
look at her current set of responsibilities and
maybe make an is/is not list. On the is list, this
is what I love doing and I want to continue doing. On the is not, this is
what I don't want to do. And is there a way for me
to take my current role and make, again, a plan for how
to telescope that down to my is list and package it so that
it's part succession planning and part an opportunity for me
to actually have my glide path to semi-retirement.

AMY GALLO: Yeah, I love that. And that's– I don't know
if luxury is the right word? But maybe one of the
privileges or advantages of being toward
the end, is really having that clarity of like,
this is what I like to do. And hopefully, having permission
from those around you, because you've given
so much in your career, to actually do
that job crafting, being able to get rid
of some of the is not's.

ANN BUNDY: And this
goes back to what's. What do I want to do,
why do I want to do it, and how am I going to do it? And I think what the
why part, you also have to add what's the value
creation for the organization, because you can't just make
it all about you, obviously. It has to work for the
organization as well. AMY GALLO: Yeah, right. The is list can't be things
that no one else cares about. That's right. OK. So let me tell you what
another listener wrote to us. I'm going to read her quote. I'm nearing the end of a 35
year career in human resources, and planning how and
when to make the leap to post work life. How do we, as women,
define ourselves, if not through our work achievements? Our employers open to
phased retirement schedules, how does the fractional
or part-time executive fit into the succession plans? ANN BUNDY: For some of
us who have lost touch with who we are
outside of work, I would invite you to think
about your 10-year-old self.

What is it that you
loved to do when you were younger and unencumbered? And then back to selling
it, to the organization, I think organizations are way
more flexible than we give them credit for. And I think a
part-time executive, as long as it's creating value
for the organization, that can be very, very
helpful, especially if it's paired with succession
planning and/or mentoring. One of the things that I've
learned about millennials and younger people coming to
the work world is they really, really, really want mentors. And so there's a way to be able
to make your pitch and say, I may cut back on
my executive duties, but here's what I'm going to do,
and be very concrete about how many people you would
take on and what the value creation would be for
them and for the organization. And that can help
ease the transition. AMY GALLO: Yeah. Well, and what I hear you
saying in that answer, Ann, is that just
because you haven't seen someone do it doesn't
mean you can't, right? You really have to
craft the request, back it up with what the
value is to the organization and then negotiate.

ANN BUNDY: Exactly. AMY GALLO: All right. So one more listener question. And I'm going to
read this quote. I already have a
fairly balanced life. I travel, lead a
healthy lifestyle, enjoy time with
family and friends. And I genuinely enjoy building
a values based business. I don't look at retirement
the same way my parents do– as freedom– and a time to be able
to do all the things you couldn't while you were working
and looking after a family.

So I wonder whether I even
want a traditional retirement at the age of 65? This gets to the question
of, is this the end? I did get the sense, I have
to say, from Audrey and Donna, there was this sense of
freedom, even if that's not what they were planning. Any thoughts about that
idea of freedom and then also what a nontraditional
retirement might look like for this person? ANN BUNDY: Yeah, well, it
feels like she's actually done a really good job of doing
a values based life planning. Good for her. And I think that, just
keeping her finger on the pulse of how she's
feeling as she goes through because, 65 is different
than 67 is different than 70. So what works for a
65-year-old may not work 18 months, two years from now. And just, again, to be very
honest with herself about that. And also, I think what is
the definition of freedom.

For some people, that means
having a totally empty calendar on a given day. If that were me,
that would panic me. So I think, she's got
to, again, figure out as an architect
of her life, now, are there things that she
wants to add or subtract, and if so, why? AMY GALLO: Yeah. Listening to this
listeners situation, it sounds like she's
exercising, she's spending time with family. She's doing all these things
we know that are great for us. And I get the sense– I'm totally reading
between the lines– but that she's
afraid of upsetting that balance by removing work. That's something
I can relate to, is that it's a very full
life but it feels complete. And so when you subtract work
from that, how do you make sure the pieces still fit together.

ANN BUNDY: Right. And I think what I'm
hearing between the lines is intellectual challenge, and I
worry about that for myself, because I love solving problems. I love thinking about
new ideas and things. And that's why I had to
have writing as a way to exercise my
intellectual growth. And I think without something
like that is really meaningful, yes, you can do Wordle and
you can do crossword puzzles and that's all great and good. But I think either creating
something or participating in something larger
than yourself where you actually have
to use some of the skills that you've developed
so carefully and so lovingly all these
years really is important.

And I think that's
what's important to her. And I think that a lot of us
who were working full time plus being moms, we were like– it's like disembodied heads. And I think our spirits
and our bodies took a hit. And I know a lot of
women that I worked with have exhausted
adrenal glands, and they don't
realize how exhausted they are until they
actually stop working and like almost have to go
through a detox process. AMY GALLO: Interesting. Yeah, well, and Audrey
talked about that too, of just that being present. She was talking
about being present with the people in her life. But I also think being present
in your body, in a way, you probably haven't been. I do feel like my life
feels a little bit like a disembodied, sometimes,
of just barely hanging on and just getting
through the day.

And ultimately, these are all
things I want to be doing. But it's a lot. ANN BUNDY: It's a lot. And so one of the things is to
kind of do a self-assessment. How am I doing with
joy in my life? How am I doing with
connection in my life? How am I doing with
my spirituality? And looking at that and
being able to say, where do I need to put some love
and attention now that I've got more time.

AMY GALLO: Yeah. Ann, this is great. Thank you so much for
sharing your advice. This has been really practical
and I imagine very helpful for lots of listeners. ANN BUNDY: Well, I hope so. I mean, it's been a real joy. And I admire women who've
been in the workforce. And there's a lot
that we overcome. And I think retirement
can be a great gift, but it takes some
planning, and I think we have to
be able to receive the gift in the right spirit
in which it's intended for us. AMY GALLO: So Amy
B, had you heard of this concept of
professional diminishment before Ann mentioned
it in this interview? AMY BERNSTEIN: No, I
never heard the phrase, but the idea is one
I'm familiar with.

My mom, she was in the
advertising industry. And she finally retired. Her career really just– it kept going strong
well into her 70s. But she finally retired
around the age of 76. And I asked her, why? Why now? And she said because I feel like
I'm the oldest fig on the tree. And when I asked her what
that meant, she said, people are talking
about popular culture and I have no idea who
they're talking about. So it's time for
me to back away. AMY GALLO: Yeah I think there's
sort of two elements to that, because when Arthur Brooks
talks about professional diminishment, I think it's
also the mental capacity to do your job, the
cognitive ability.

And that, I do remember my
mom at retirement saying, I want to go out strong,
I don't want to go out– and I think Ann says, like,
having made a mistake. But then there's
also what you're alluding to with your mom which
is feeling not in the loop, or feeling– AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah,
like not up to date. And that was heartbreaking
when she said it. But I get it. AMY GALLO: But I also
think we need to watch out for ageism in that. AMY BERNSTEIN: Absolutely. AMY GALLO: Because
I think there's the perception that older
people aren't in the loop or as capable as they once were.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Right. And I do think that there's
the part about staying up to date, which does help there. I mean, when you
lose the threads, when you don't get
the context, that's something you actually
can control, no matter what your age. AMY GALLO: Yes. So how do you think about
professional diminishment over the next 10,
15, 20 years for you? AMY BERNSTEIN:
Well, I still feel sharp and able to do my work. And even saying
that out loud just made me feel like
about 1,000 years old. AMY GALLO: But it's true. I know you're not going
to take that complement, but it's absolutely true. AMY BERNSTEIN: Oh, shucks. Thanks. But I think about
it differently. I don't think about it in terms
of professional diminishment. I think about it in
terms of my next chapter. I don't want to go out unable
to enjoy the rest of my life. I want to be able to do whatever
it is, whatever those puzzle pieces, however
they come together, I want to be able to
throw myself into it and do it with vigor
and with focus.

And so I really don't even
want to get to the point where I ask myself, am
I still good at this? AMY GALLO: Right, right. Yeah. I mean, I think
Donna and Audrey did a great job of
making sure they had the energy for this
post-work life. And that, for me, is
really inspirational, because I think I had very
much been conceiving of– not even consciously–
but very much conceiving of retirement
as like, the end. Like as Ann says, the
next step toward death. And I don't think that's helpful
to me because I think it'll A, make me work longer than I
need to and B, like you say, I won't gather
those puzzle pieces so that I have a complete
puzzle, or at least a sense of what that complete puzzle
will look like when I'm ready.

And I really need to start– I'm taking a tip from
Ann and really start thinking about what do I
want, what would I include in this post-retirement life? Not in like, oh, I'm going
to put that off until then. But as a goal of, this will be
an enjoyable, fulfilling thing to do when I'm no longer
working the way I am. AMY BERNSTEIN: Right. So it's not a question
of filling time, it's more about
what brings you joy. AMY GALLO: Exactly. And I don't have any answers
to that question yet. But Ann and Audrey and
Donna have inspired me to at least ask them.

AMY BERNSTEIN: You know, when
my mom did finally retire, and this would have
been 15 years ago, so I would have been
around your age, I think. It did get me thinking about
how I would face that turning point in my life. What I wanted to do was
not run into the same kind of challenges she
ran into, the what am I going to do
now kind of question that she was asking herself. And I wanted to look
forward, not back, because I didn't feel like she
had given herself the chance to do that. And so it does help
me when I'm going through the course of my days,
look at roles as options. So I mentioned working
at the rescue where we got our younger dog.

I went there looking to pick
up the guy who became Wally five years ago. But I have to admit,
I looked around, I saw what people were
doing, and I thought, oh, I could do this
and this would give me enormous gratification. And so I wasn't kidding before
when I said what I said. I do think about that a lot. And it has helped me, and
that was my mom's work. AMY GALLO: Well,
and I like that. You're sort of window shopping. AMY BERNSTEIN: Exactly. AMY GALLO: Yeah. I like that. And actually, it's
funny you say that. I saw this movie
this past weekend about election workers,
which was fascinating. Now that you mention it,
I did have a thought, oh, that would be fun
to do in my retirement. Work at the polls every year. And there's so much that happens
with elections year round. I was like, OK, that's something
I could get involved with. AMY BERNSTEIN: In
fact, I started doing it during the pandemic. AMY GALLO: That's right. AMY BERNSTEIN: So many
retirees couldn't do it.

And I wouldn't stop doing it. It's really, really important. And I'm glad I did it. And I encourage you to do it. But it's exactly what
I'm talking about. It gives you joy. It's also– one
of the nice things about this is that it's not 40
hours a week, 52 weeks a year. AMY GALLO: Yes, I like this. OK. So I'm picturing– we're
focusing on you, because I still can't fathom retirement. But I'm picturing Amy B,
the volunteer at the animal shelter, the teacher,
and the poll worker. That's a pretty good life. AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah,
that's not a bad life. And watching TV, reading
books, eating dinner. That actually doesn't
sound so bad– AMY GALLO: Doing
your 4:00 AM yoga? AMY BERNSTEIN: Doing–
well, maybe we'll switch to the 9 AM class.

AMY GALLO: There you go. There you go. That's the joy of
retirement, the 9 AM class. AMY BERNSTEIN: That's our show. I'm Amy Bernstein. AMY GALLO: I'm Amy Gallo. If you're looking to hear more
about how retirement changes your identity, we recommend
you listen to the HBR idea cast interview with Teresa Amabile–
that's episode number 665. Idea Cast is one
of several podcasts that HBR has to help you
manage yourself, your team, and your organization. Find them at
or search each HBR and Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or
wherever you listen. AMY BERNSTEIN: Women at Work's
editorial and production team as Amanda Kersey,
Maureen Hoch, Tina Tobey Mack, Rob Eckhart,
Erika Truxler, Ian Fox, and Hannah Bates. Robin Moore composed
our theme music. Thanks for listening,
and email us any time at [email protected]..

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Why do People Struggle the First Year in Retirement? We were surprised!

the first year of retirement isn't always the dreamy Escape many people imagine no it's not maybe one of the most significant transitions in your life it was for us and it probably is going to be for you and that's because it's filled with all the unexpected challenges roadblocks and adjustments you have to make in this new pH and I think it's really important to understand that if you fail to navigate this first year you might find yourself questioning your entire decision to retire and today we're going to give you some strategies to feel empowered to overcome any of the struggles you might find do we ever feel like we made a mistake and we should still be working I do sometimes do you I do back in your corporate life I oh my good I do I know but listen and I'm sure some people do maybe but if you're new here I'm Mark Rollins and this is my wife Jody Rollins we don't focus on the financial aspects of retirement but rather life lifestyle Health relationships and more and we're so happy you're here today and it really would be helpful to us if you could share this video with anyone else that you know or care about that's in their retirement Journey too and you know join our free Facebook community at retirement transformed we go live each week and offer guidance support strategies to make this chapter the best it can be so before we jump in I want to remind you that this first year of retirement really sets the foundation for all the future years to come so you want to be able to equip yourself with the knowledge that you need you want to stay proactive and embrace this new Journey with a lot of confidence you know we know dozens of people who are floundering in this first year of retirement and it's really not pretty to watch I was at a bridal shower this past weekend and a woman across the table from me said um you know I heard her talking to someone else and she said I'm terrified and I thought oo this will be an interesting conversation we're at a bridal shower I'm not sure what there is to be terrified about but she's a teacher and this is her last year so in June she's done done after 35 years of teaching the third grade and she said I'm I'm literally terrified I don't know where to start that is scary and it it's scary for everyone I'm not saying it's scarier for a teacher or doctor whatever but if this is all you've known and you know teachers have a special kind of thing they they work from the middle of August through the end of June and then I have the summer off right and you do that for 30 40 years right and it's a routine that you're comfortable with and you get enjoy it you get fulfillment right what do you how do you feel that so the first year is really really important to get that right my dad screwed it up big time I mean he without a doubt he's a good example of someone who made a lot of mistakes in his first year and I you know I I tell people that retirement actually killed my dad because he just didn't know how to get through this first year and set himself off in a spiral which yeah he was he was unprepared and a lot of people do enter this phase of their life maybe prepared financially but unprepared emotionally and with all of the kind of red flags that start to come their way you know your dad really just couldn't reinvent himself he lived in the used to world yeah it was it was bad but you know we do know plenty of people who think this phase is easy and for some people they actually make the transition smoothly but for others like my dad you know like I said it can actually kill you if you don't really get it right so we should cut the mystery and jump into what people really struggle with yeah and I think the first thing we see in people that we know and clients that we have and talks that we have given as well as the research that we do is this major loss of identity that hits you probably a week or two after you retire ire yeah and for a long time whether you're a teacher or a doctor or a lawyer or an insurance agent or a corporate executive we derived a lot of our selfworth from our job roles right I mean that's just the way it was and it you know when you first got out of college and started your job it was one thing but by the time you ended up you were at a much higher very senior level in your company and that was your identity and when that identity no longer exists you really find yourself in a strange danger zone right you know without an identity in retirement you can have feelings of worthlessness and and really have a hard time finding your purpose and passion so it's really a reinvention of source so in your first year this is going to happen you're going to lose your identity and you really need to start thinking about creating a new one you don't want to go too long like my dad did and spend the next 10 years holding on to or feeling sad about losing your identity you want to make a new one it's really really important now the other thing that people struggle with in the first year of retirement is financial concerns and that's normal right because you're moving from a time in your life when you have a steady paycheck or an expense account or whatever it might be health insurance all of that is just coming at you automatically yeah and then it stops it does stop and then you have your nest egg and Market volatility can add to your stress you know if you've planned properly up to that moment but then have to make different financial decisions moving forward maybe riskier or less risky Investments depending on you know how you're advised you find yourself in a little bit of a budgeting process that becomes really crucial to how you're going to live this first year well it's a good point and we spend 30 40 Years of our life accumulating assets right just adding to it adding to it adding to it 401 okay whatever it might be but then that stops and now you go into this new phase called uh decumulation where you're actually taking your savings and your assets and living on that and that is mentally is a really hard financial concern so in the first year you've really got to make sure that you figure that out and get comfortable with it and have a good plan a good financial plan or you know really nail your financials yeah really and then you know we hear a lot from people you know that they're bored they're bored in retirement you know they don't really have a routine that they can stick to and they really struggle that first year getting away from you know the the structure and accountability that they had with their work days just this morning I was down watching the sun come up and I ran into my friend who retired a year ago and he keeps himself busy but you know I was checking with him and say how's it going cuz it's it's okay it's okay how's your you know how's your new uh career that you're doing he's a he's a writer now and he's writing he said well it's interesting you know I watch you guys on YouTube and you talk a lot about um having routines and I find that it's easier not having a routine which it is but then he doesn't do what he wants to do which frankly is harder if you don't have some routines built in and some plans for your day in the first year of retirement you're going to get used to not having routines you're going to get used to not getting things done and you're not going to like it you just are not going to like it so I think that it's easier to have routines maybe harder to get moving in that direction but once you have them your life becomes so much easier I don't know how you think about no I I agree with you I do know we get a lot of push back on people who want to just abandon routine because they've lived 35 or 40 years in a strict routine and I really advise people I think it's okay to let it go for a little while but not too long so that you know as they say the proverbial horse is out of the barn and now you can't get it back you wake up every day what am I going to do today that is not a good position to be in for a whole year for sure now the other thing that you can struggle with and you might struggle with right out of the box when you leave your career is social isolation I know for me I had you know 80 people working in my company I was the CEO and I had great relationship with these people and it was kind of like Fridays were what are you going to do this weekend what's going to happen Mondays were how was your weekend what did you do how are the kids how are the grandkids all of this stops right and then it's just you and me I really I really it's important to remember that um you know those relationships that you had at work even extending out to you know I knew a lot of you know my co-worker spouses and their children and I watch them grow and go through college you know you have that longevity of your story your relationship story with these folks and some of them you will bring with you but a lot of them get kind of left behind in the situational kind of friendship bucket um so the big message here is you need to is to replace it you've got to find Community whether it's joining a health club or you know we do pickle ball we talk about that a lot going back to church or religious institution Social Clubs community centers Gym classes gym classes reaching out to your friends make a list of all your friends and start contacting them because you don't want to struggle with social isolation in your first year it's really going to bring you down you know and the fourth thing that we really wanted to talk about was your health and physical activity because I know we did this when we retired you know we were like you know we're just going to go ahead and relax and eat and drink and just sleep late and you know we got a little sluggish there for a while and it wasn't healthy for us and we did course correct and um you know not saying seven days a week you know 30 days out of the month we're always on track we do stay on the health and wellness you know Mission because as you age health challenges come your way it just happens well the other big thing that you could find yourself struggling with is when you first retire in your first year depending upon your circumstances with your partner in in this case jod and I as a married couple that relationship can struggle because we both had work we had our careers we had time at home but every all the Dynamics change when both of you now are home all day long and Frank of this business for us is really helpful because it gives us something to do together but we also do a lot of things on our own we do and and you know while the business is helpful it adds stress and boundaries become even more important I think so if you're starting a business in retirement which we should maybe do a series on that we are we definitely are because there is some Milestones that we uncovered well the other thing that people struggle with in the first year is getting used to setting goals like you said a lot of people say gosh you guys do all this planning and stuff but you need to if you don't set some goals for yourself because you were used to that during your career right you set work rated Milestones um you might find yourself without goals a little bit aimless and at least having personal goals on your physical or whatever it might be yeah I think the big difference with goals is now you have a chance to hold yourself accountable and your goals can be aimed at things that you're really interested in right and then if you're really interested in for example I've been trying to I've been practicing I don't know that I'll ever end the practice but you know different things in yoga and I set goals for for myself no one else is holding me accountable I mean you would have no idea no I but you come home and you tell me about the new stances like the the the one-legged chicken is that one of the things it is not one but we'll do a whole another yoga series I guess well I think again having goals is really important and you know just a a couple more things your emotional well-being it's easy to get in this first year and all of a sudden find yourself sad and down and cre uh you know that stuff will will creep into your life if you're not doing everything we said you know what's funny about this this emotional well-being one because I'm so sad all we actually had a little bit of a tussle this morning you think and sometimes I wonder if in retirement you have more time to think about things mhm and you know maybe you create a mountain out of a mole hill you think no no no what is this I didn't do that yes you did my finger never you're the one that built this huge mountain this morning out of a mole hill so you know I wonder if this is something to really focus on you know you know recognize emotions that you have and consider even you know seeking some counsel on it so now I need a therapist for our relationship this this whole first year of retirement can be very very difficult without a doubt definitely it's meant to be fun and exciting so we don't want to find ourselves in a rut and unsure what to do next yeah I mean trust us when it when we tell you if you get into some good rhythm in your first year the rest of your retirement can become all that you dreamed of like our retirement right that's so funny we hope you enjoyed this video and if you did this next one a happy retirement is in your control we talk about how to bring healthy habits into your life so that you can flourish in retirement so watch this one next

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Step 1 The Retirement Success Process: Investment and Risk Management

foreign welcome back to the retirement income show I'm Mark Elliott here with the CEO and founder of Oak Harvest Finance group we're talking about the retirement success plan once it's in place it's not done it's not finished it's always changing and evolving with you and your life so it's really important to get this in place to have a plan give you more confidence and and be more comfortable in retirement with maybe hopefully not so much stress about where you are again that number is 800-822-6434 to learn more 800-822-6434 Troy's breaking down what is exactly the retirement success plan so it starts with the investment plan then it's the income plan then it's a tax plan then it's a health plan and then it is the estate plan so I want to kind of tie together why that sequence is is important just briefly but if you don't understand if you don't have a proper risk management structure in place obviously you open the potential for losses beyond your willingness to stay the course now it's not just stay the course with the Investments it's stay the course with your retirement success plan with your financial plan so we have to Define what those guard rails are first this is the process of understanding where your risk limitations are so if you think about you're going down a highway and of course you have guard rails on each side and if you go off the highway those guard rails are there to protect you from going into the opposing Direction on the freeway now in retirement when we're talking about managing risk when we can identify these emotional guardrails so are you willing to see and I and I'd like to Define risk in terms of dollars not percentages and I'll tell you why in a minute but let's say you have a million dollars saved for retirement if all that money is in your 401k first and foremost we have to realize that it's not really a million dollars because every dollar in there is tax deferred so we have to understand we're going to address that as part of this process but when we talk about risk we have to understand that not all of those dollars are yours you have a junior partner on that account we want to keep them a junior partner we don't want Uncle Sam to become a senior partner or a majority share owner of your retirement account but just understanding that that not all of that money is yours that you do have a junior partner in that account it ties into this risk management discussion a little bit so when we talk about risk in terms of dollars are you willing to see your account go down two hundred thousand just a question could be yes could be no it doesn't there is no right or wrong answer but by asking these questions we can start to Define where your emotional guard rails are because the number one thing that you can do when it comes to ruining a financial plan or a retirement plan is to have more risks so your accounts go down more than you can mentally tolerate emotionally withstand and then you sell get out sit in cash for two or three years miss the rebound and now you're you're in a you know you're in a bad bad bad spot I can't tell you I mean we've been through this so many times with clients and conversations about you know Troy I've been watching the news I think we're going into recession we need to get out of the market we need to do this or my accounts are down 10 or 20 or when covid hit we there's a plan for for a proper plan accounts for the markets being down 20 or 30 percent so when we talk about risk management and we're asking you these questions the reason why is because we're already planning for recessions we're planning for potential Market crashes this is part of life okay we cannot avoid these things unless we completely stay in cash and if that's the case you might as well bury the money in the backyard and just spend whatever you can and hope you don't run out and eat rice and beans for for for retirement and that's not how most of our clients that's not how most of you want to spend you know after working for an entire career you want to spend your life so are you okay with a 200 000 decline by the way which is 20 and the reason why I Define it in terms of dollars is because a long time ago I had a client come in well it was a prospective client at the time and like most financial advisors we would talk about it in terms of percentages and and we said are you okay with a 10 or 20 decline he said you know what 20 is pretty much my Max and he had around a million dollars so then I I just happened to put it in terms of dollars and I said okay so if your accounts go down two hundred thousand dollars you're okay with that and he said he said no Troy he said I would fire you on the spot and so that you know for me it connected a Big Dot It was kind of a big evolution in my career when I was younger because I realized I'm a financial guy I do this every single day I think in terms of percentages and statistics and and but most people think in terms of dollars so when we ask you that question you say yes I'm okay with a 200 000 or 100 000 or maybe it's not even close to that or maybe it's much much much more what that does for us is it helps to Define what type of portfolio we need to construct so emotionally there's a small probability that it is going to hit your your downside guard ramp and if we can go through retirement and not ever hit that downside guard rail well there's a very good chance from our experience that you're going to stay the course you're going to stick with your plan and if you can stick with your plan you have a much higher probability of success in retirement this is why we call it the retirement success process this is why we call it a retirement success plan this is what we want to deliver to you so now I said I wanted to talk a little bit about the sequence and why risk management in investment planning comes first if we don't and in most simple terms if if your money let's say you have a million bucks and you never had to take anything out if you average four percent versus nine percent at higher rates of return you obviously can expect your accounts to grow to a larger value that means the income planning is impacted that also means that now your tax planning is impacted so we can't build an income plan or a tax plan without first understanding an estimated reasonable expected return for a combination of Securities inside a portfolio so step one has to be this risk management discussion which then can lead us to the investment construction of your portfolio which then gives us a pretty good idea of expected return upside downside deviation so we can now start talking about income planning we can actually project and do a sensitivity analysis on tax planning based on different account levels let me break that down for you before we get into the tax planning section later on the show if you have a million dollars in your IRA you are forced to start taking a certain percentage out it's around four percent at age 72 but as you get to be 74 76 77 you're required to distribute a larger and larger percentage so if your million grows to 1.5 you take let's say four percent of that out that's a that's a number that is less than if your IRA grows to 2 million so the more aggressive your portfolio is or the higher expected return the more we should anticipate that require minimum distribution being a larger number that rmd is the amount you're forced to take out and pay taxes on we've seen clients I I'd like to phrase this for prospective clients because we address this with you as a client this is part of the retirement success process and the retirement success plan but so often when someone comes in here and they've done a pretty good job saving they have eight hundred thousand they have a million they have two or three million when we start to do this analysis if you don't address this tax problem and it is a tax problem it can be you know a tax nightmare for many of you those rmds when we get out to be 75 and 77 or 78 a hundred thousand hundred and fifty thousand two hundred thousand now you're taking that money out you're probably not spending that much on top of Social Security on top of any rental income or real estate income or pension or dividend or interest or any other income that you have outside of your retirement account and we've seen many people be in a much higher tax bracket and have much more income in their 80s than they ever had throughout their entire life up to that point and it's because of a lack of planning so that's what we're trying to get ahead of so we have to understand the risk structure of our portfolio and how we manage that risk so we can keep you on course we can keep you on schedule with your plan that then gives us an idea of a range of expected returns based on basic financial planning Concepts from there we can develop that income strategy and income is not just Social Security it's not just how much to take out don't get me started on the four percent rule but it is also from which accounts and then we get into the taxes so if you don't have a retirement success plan give us a call 1-800-822-6434 we're going to walk you through this process if you become a client you will have this plan in place that deals with risk Investments taxes income along with the rest of the retirement success plan 1-800-822-6434 Oak Harvest Financial Group check out the website check out the YouTube channel Oak Harvest Financial Group so we're talking about the retirement success plan Troy still got a lot to get to stay with us we're back in one minute investment advisory services offered through Oak Harvest Financial Group LLC Oak Harbor's Financial Group is an independent Financial Services firm that helps people create retirement strategies using a variety of insurance and investment products investing involves risk including the loss of principal any references to protection benefits or lifetime income generally refer to fixed Insurance products never Securities or investment products insurance and annuity product guarantees are backed by the financial strength and claims paying ability of the issuing insurance company Oak Harbor's Financial Group LLC is not permitted to offer a No statement made during this show shall constitute tax or legal advice you should speak to a qualified professional before making any decisions about your personal situation we are not affiliated with the US government or any governmental agency this radio show is a paid placement foreign [Music]

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Sexuality and Aging…YES we are talking about Sex in Retirement!

sex as you age this is a serious topic and it's also a sensitive one for sure it also lends to some difficult conversations with many couples not for us this is easy right that's why we're doing it [Music] well the fact that it is difficult we've wanted to talk about this for a while because we have so many clients that bring to us this issue of sex as they age we certainly couldn't do it alone so we're so excited to have nancy lucas with us today who is a therapist here in essex that specializes in relationship issues marital and pre-marital issues and sex therapy so what an exciting job that you have i guess at times yeah i would imagine it's exciting at times and just remember it's an important issue especially as retirement is getting longer and we're aging longer and hopefully healthier and we are not sex therapists especially mark is not a sex therapist nancy is and we're excited to explore this topic with her nancy's going to share three tips or strategies or suggestions on better sex and intimacy with your partner and you have to stay to the end because at the end nancy's gonna give us an exercise or an activity that we can do with our partner to open the conversation about sex and to embark on a journey of exploration together this is going to be great so make sure you stay till the end welcome nancy yeah thanks so much for being with us today thanks for having me um so yes i i do have a very um it's a privilege what i do and i and i do love my job and this is a sensitive and important topic and it's one that we really don't get to explore very often um i think that there's just not enough research being done about sex as we age and um we need more but we do have some facts i'd like to share with you guys that that's okay and that is that um being intimate with our partner and exploring ourselves sexually can last into our 90s which is which is great and that's kind of new information that we're just finding out um but for instance um 50 of people and we should be having more this should be a higher percentage 50 of people who are 65 to 70 are still reporting to be sexually active um and then once we hit age 71 to 75 40 and then by the time we get to age 76 to 80 25 but the good news is that 20 of people who are in their 90s are reporting to still be sexually active so um so that's something that's good news but i think we can all be doing better i was going to say i mean i think i think those numbers i wonder if our audience would say those numbers are where i thought they'd be or i thought they'd be better or some may say i thought they'd be worse but i think the point is we need to be doing more research because people are living longer and they're living healthier and sex is a really big part of healthy life and let me ask this question too because i remember seeing a fact as we started to do a little research on this and realized we couldn't do this without you but there's a a large percentage of men i think perhaps 40 of men are the are the ones that's that stop having sex with their partner and it's really their fault because they just i don't know is that true fault i don't think you should say fault well but they i don't know i just remember seeing something is there yes there is something so look we have the little blue pill now which is something that has really helped um helped couples stay active but it really is men often that can stop even though they want to be sexual it's men that often make the decision to stop being sexual as partners because of performance issues and so that's hopefully something that we can talk a little bit more about too at some point um but i like to deal with with some of my clients um you know it's really the the fact is that it's not about performance but there are all different kinds of sex that people can have um sex is something that brings us closer that is intimacy it doesn't have to always be about the erogenous zones it doesn't always have to be so goal oriented so that people are you know it's about you know having orgasm or having the kinds of sex that we think it should be there's all different kinds of sex and if it makes you feel close with your person and if it makes you feel intimate and you know let's face it if we're in our person we're in this relationship with them and we do things with them that we don't do with anyone else so and that's what separates friendships from our partnerships yeah and the first strategy that you that you want to talk about was communication and we talk so much on our youtube channel about communication and it really especially with spouse partner or significant relationships and the more amount of time that you're spending about together in this phase of life and how important communication really is and we have clients that don't have sex and they don't talk about it with their partner right so let's talk a little bit about communication what are some things people can do what are your thoughts on the idea of communication well of course i'm a shrink so communication is the most important thing that we talk about um but communicating with your partner about intimacy can be really hard and it becomes sort of this thing where you know it doesn't get talked about and then it continues to not get talked about and then it just sort of builds and builds and builds and because and becomes the elephant in the room so um so communication is of course extremely important and around like what feels good like what really does feel good for us now and that can change as we age our bodies change our erogenous zones can even change um all of that is something that we need to be talking to our partner about um also just being able to schedule that's another thing that i talk about well can i ask a question before you go on to the scheduling because that is important but communication so there's there's people watching this now and either husband a wife or a partner and they're watching it alone and they're really not sure what to do they're yeah i have a problem we're not having sex how do i bring it up with my partner what's the safest way to to start a conversation around the fact that you know instead if we hadn't had sex for five years what are you gonna do about it versus you know what's it what's an easy three-step process to start a conversation well of course the what we always start as therapists with is the i statements if you approach somebody with how you feel i feel disconnected i feel like we're not as close as we used to be i miss you i mean those things are not going to throw up someone's defenses right and that's what really gets in the way of talking about very delicate subjects like this like intimacy and that is that you know look we're vulnerable these are things that we have strong feelings about so when somebody comes to us we can you know throw our guard up and be defensive but when you start out with i and with the no with the feeling i miss you i you know i miss our closeness this is something that i'd like to try um i think that's a really good way to approach sounds so sweet it does sound like i'm missing it as opposed to the you like right who you yeah right well that's good so so having a good strategy path of communication to bring it up in a nice thoughtful caring way you know like you said would be great and respecting the fact that your partner may not have been raised for example to talk about sex and what feels good right everyone no matter how long you've been together or how old or mature your relationship is when you're brought up differently as a child i would assume that that comes forward you know so i i you know i know a lot of the women that i talk to it's it's they want to provide safety in the conversation because if they're the ones bringing it up they don't want their um heterosexual partner their male partner to feel you know immediately back on his heels right right so i love the i statements and this idea of creating some safe space and then the next thing that you that you um talk about and we talk about this is scheduling your intimate time what is that what is so so you add an opening conversation and then you say well next sunday afternoon you and i are gonna get together we're gonna maybe do the exercise so don't forget to stay till the end to learn about this exercise but actually scheduling and it feels weird at first to think about it but you schedule everything else so why not right well a lot of people when i bring this up with my clients you know right away have this reaction like what isn't it supposed to be so natural and we're supposed to be you know preparing dinner and all of a sudden we look into each other's eyes and then we throw ourselves down on the floor and it becomes this passionate thing and i'm sorry that's not the reality i live in and probably not the reality that you live in either we're all very very busy and unfortunately um the idea of scheduling is look if you schedule it it happens right you guys know this so i do recommend that you schedule sex for a couple of reasons um or intimate time and that is that first of all you it'll happen and that's the most important thing is that it takes place and that it happens second of all you have some time to prepare either to look forward to it or make sure that you're in a good mental place to really be you know intimate and vulnerable and together with your person so those are the reasons why that scheduling really really works you know it's funny too um and not to get too personal but you know i'm not a big fan of the whole go out and eat this massively wonderful great dinner and have a drink and a bottle of wine and and then come home and you know how i feel not so sexy i'm ready to go to sleep and mark's exhausted so i think you're right because as younger people and and maybe younger is not the right word but you know earlier in our lives um you know that was kind of the you know you had your date you had your date night you had a nice dinner you had a cute margarita maybe a glass of wine and then you were both kind of you know metabolizing food a lot quicker by the way and you know feeling a little bit better and i love this idea of scheduling it because if you don't feel right and the time is you know upon you it's always a bit of a push and so i love the idea of scheduling it and communicating when you feel better well yeah and the other thing is i remember this fact i looked up before nancy i brought it up in the beginning but i had it wrong i believe what i read was and this is for the men out there you know you're not going to bring up sex in a conversation you're not going to schedule it if you have performance issues and if you do have performance issues you need to go see your doctor because like you said in the beginning the little blue pill there are pills that you can take to help you with that but i think 40 of men have erectile dysfunction and only 10 of them get help so the other 30 are just not having sex for that reason which is really not fair to you or your partner no or your relationship as a whole yeah yeah because look um intimacy in that way like i said earlier that's what separates your relationship from all your friendships so it can be the glue that really keeps you together right and i think that brings you really to your third point because sex doesn't always have to be perhaps what everyone traditionally is visualizing in their head or thinking about what sex might be and your third point you know being open to different types of sex or intimacy i think is a really big one to explore um yes so again the more narrow we make sex um the more narrow and vanilla and kind of boring it's going to be if it's something that feels good and brings you close to your partner then i say that that's sex let's call that sex it's um there's all kinds of intimacy there's and look i can go on about other types of sex there's there's makeup sex right there's sex that's more holding and more intimate and then there's you know more passionate passionate sex but anything that brings you close to your partner i say you know we shouldn't be narrowly merely defining it so much that it's really there's all different kinds and if it involves touching and intimacy and something that makes you feel good and close sometimes just holding each other in that way when you're both naked that i think can be defined as sex so if it brings you close it doesn't have to be what we traditionally think of sex as being it's funny because um you know as a mom you know when you have a baby the first thing that a lot of doctors do is hand you your naked baby for that skin-to-skin sensation yes that is so enriching and fortifying and you know um just such a game changer for this little person who just came in the world and it's funny that we don't think about that longer and harder as we move through our life how important that skin-to-skin contact really is for our sense of being absolutely you know as moms you know we of course want to we think of that with our children we're you know usually wanting to hug them or hold them and like you said that starts it in infancy but we don't really think about that as much with our partners right no it's just as important that's foundational to us as humans so well we've we've talked about communication how important it is to start a conversation and the second thing was scheduling scheduling it so you've had a conversation you scheduled it you're now thinking uh different types of sex maybe you're not really sure what that really means but even just hugging like you said is good but that might be a good segue into the bonus activity that you want to talk about for those listeners as a place to start where it's so why don't you go through that because that was pretty intriguing when you talk to us about it yes so i'm going to talk about the gold standard and this actually was um these exercises came about as a result of the research that masters and johnson did long ago so and that is sensei exercises so that is really getting to know our person what kind of touch they like what kind of touch we enjoy and so this is the exercise so you can do this either semi-clad you know with some clothes on or no clothes at all naked but basically the exercises that you get in a quiet place you're ready you feel like you've you know you schedule it again you're in that mindset you go to a quiet place where you can be alone and you take turns 15 minutes each um just touching each other no erogenous zones none of those usual places that we think about when we think about sex everything but and the other thing is after you're done with the exercise you cannot have sex oh he didn't tell us that [Music] no the whole point is that to really get back into the fact that sex it doesn't have to be goal oriented it's not always about orgasm it's about closeness and about feeling good so for 15 minutes you take turns one person is the toucher and the other person is receiving the touch and the toucher just focuses on what it's like the skin of your partner what does that skin feel like what does it feel like on their hair what does it feel like you know in the inside of their elbow or the back of their knees how is this the skin different and all you do is focus on how that feels on the tips of your fingers the person who's being touched just enjoys and can tell communicate can use some of the communication with their partner oh i'd like you maybe to use your your flat hand or maybe just your fingertips maybe your fingernails maybe a massage maybe i mean there's all sorts of types of touch just like you know how the eskimos have like i forgot like you know 100 different words for snow um we should have 100 different words for touch and how we how we experience each other i love that i think that's a great i think that's it i think this has been marvelous as a you know is our first video on sex as you age right yeah i think the the whole it's it sounds safe and it's starting with the communication and then scheduling it and and then doing this exercise really is a safe way to get it's almost like when you were your first date my first day took me forever to well to get where i had to go where are we going with this yeah but i mean when you're when you're first a young you know teenager it's a teenager well 19 20.

yikes let's talk about this in the car ride home anyway i i thought this was great i don't know if if you have any closing thoughts i mean this is this was fantastic well i i you know what i love most about what we talked about today is that you know sex is doesn't always just have to be that act that you see or that is you know in the news or you know in video or on paper it's it's really about the intimacy and the close the closeness and um the love that you want to share and express and i i think that's really what sex as you age can become and it can actually it feels like it can become bigger and better yeah yeah i love you you know you're no longer maybe having sex to procreate right so it you know you don't have the goal there that that pressure that was there i mean we don't have that anymore um you know we have a lot more time on our hands and we're alone a lot more often which would lend itself to you know more exercises like we just talked about you know for me as i as i think think of some of the clients that we have and some of the people that we've talked to it's it's sad that while they used to have sex because they have children and they they talked about how they used to have sex and they're not now because they're not even talking about it it really is a shame and it doesn't have to be that way and i think that's the point that maybe we're trying to get across as you age you can have sex and intimacy and intimacy so this was fantastic um nancy i don't know if you have any closing comments or thoughts suggestions just to remember that it's a cornerstone of your relationship and it doesn't have to diminish as we age right so and we need more research and we'll we'll put some of nancy's information in the next in the notes below and you're open to hearing from people that might uh want to hire you i have some some availability okay all right all right they're gonna have to get in line behind me so we will leave all of these uh information and notes but we hope you guys enjoyed this we we really did we learned a lot and we want you to share it with your friends and also subscribe by clicking the subscribe button uh down below and finally join our free facebook community the link is also in the notes below thanks for listening and being here today and we look forward to being back with you again soon and thanks again nancy this was great thank you so much for having me

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The Secret to a Successful Retirement (Do these 8 things!)

while we all may have a vision of what retirement looks like to us there are many obstacles to get that get in the way and maybe you're one of those people who are actually afraid to retire and maybe you're afraid to retire because you don't know what you're going to do all day you know just like any time in your life emotions come to play and your emotions are real but if you've got emotions that are holding you back and poor planning or bad luck that can get you off track entering your retirement so today in this video we're going to talk to you about eight guiding principles to a retirement transformed [Music] we're going to give you the eight principles to ensure that you stay on the right track you know when we began our retirement um a couple years ago we had actually prior to that we had this great vision of what we wanted retirement to be and it included traveling the globe spending time with our parents being surrounded by our kids and our grandkids and that plan was great it was great until it wasn't and that may be the same vision that you have we found that there's so much more so much more to do so much more living to get accomplished and the best years are really ahead and if you hang your retirement on this vision of three or four things travel entertainment a golf three days a week hanging out with your parents and your kids when any of that gets off track like it did for us we both lost all of our parents in two years time right and now they're not part of our retirement right and let's be honest all of us who have kids your kids are busy they're doing what they're supposed to do they're launched into their lives with either their kids or their friends or their communities and that's how it should be we started this business because we found it so easy to get off a track and we found ourself floundering so what we did we put together these eight guiding principles and the first one is about financial planning which we don't do we don't do any financial planning but you've got to get a sound solid financial plan in place otherwise you're going to lament over it forever you've really got to get that house in order and there's a there's a bunch of things you can do to make that happen yeah you definitely should hire someone that's going to give you an objective view of where you sit financially so you can get past any financial insecurities that you may have and understand what type of lifestyle you can afford yeah you can't imagine owning 100 yacht when you can't afford it so you've got to have your vision your goals and your desires line up with how much money you're able to take out every single year because we don't want you spending every day every month every year worrying about your finances worrying about how you can live so you have to get that lined up in the beginning so you know what you can do so principle number one get your financial house in order right principle number two is focus on your health don't overlook this as we age we are more susceptible to disease and sickness and we have so many stories from so many clients that had great retirement visions and then they got sick some of it they couldn't prevent it and you know the other thing is some people but some of it they could prevent they they can but some people enter retirement with no plan no vision nothing and it kills them right it happened to my dad it happens to dozens of people every day with 10 000 people turning 65 every day and entering retirement you really got to have a solid plan on what you want to do and your health is so key so for men go see your doctor doctors get a baseline find out what's great about your health and find out where you need some help and for women you know get your annual checkups make sure you don't discard those maybe like you did during your career skip a year on this or that now is the time for self-care and self-love and including in that is exercise 20 minutes a day at a minimum move your body i think i don't think if you follow us on social media and instagram and all of that you know about our morning routines that includes exercise so it's really important to make sure that's part of what you do and i would just add pay attention to your body how you feel how you look how you're showing up how different foods make you feel how you sleep after eating different foods nutrition is the key to success for your internal body you know we've been paying attention to that for a couple years now we both know exactly how we're going to sleep if we eat this food or drink this certain amount of wine we know what's going to happen so we eat healthier and we drink less because we sleep better and we feel better right you know the third principle which is so critical is your spouse partner relationship it's a fear that holds people back from retiring right because they don't want to end up being home 40 plus hours more of free time with their spouse that's true and you know divorce rates are down in america but gray divorce has a serious upward trend and that's because you're spending more than 40 hours together now you used to spend that time apart and retirement is a shock to the best of a relationship yeah so if you're if you're spending just nights and weekends together and all of a sudden now it's 40 hours it is a shock to the relationship and you know it's important to have communication skills to get through this we did a great um youtube video on responding versus reacting and it's something that you and i continue to work on every single day and we'll leave that leave it in the notes below but being able to talk to your spouse or partner in a relaxed setting honestly without judgment is hard but you've got to find a way to do it and you know in our online course we spend a few sessions on just that and i think it's that important it is it is so principle number four and we talked a little bit about it earlier and if you watch any of our videos you know we're proponents of this establish a routine and it may be the last thing you want to hear as you enter retirement but it works you know if you don't have a routine or you want to take some time off because you spent 38 years getting up at six o'clock to go to work and now you don't that's fine take we listen we're big proponents of taking a gap year don't have a routine for a while but pay attention because without a routine what can happen is you start to float from minute to minute day to day week to week month to month and you don't need a routine all day every day but you do need to anchor a few things down and get some basics under your belt it can help you every day schedule some hobbies and sports and your wellness and your self-care and date night yeah and when is our date night our next one i don't know we're filming video like crazy people i don't think we have any time for date night well we should make time yeah and i love a morning routine and jody loves the morning we've tried a lot of other things but we start our day pretty religiously and there's either a youtube video we've already done and we're going to do on morning routine so make sure you subscribe to our channel and share it with others and if you're getting value out of this please do that because we want to help as many people as we can have the best retirement ever so the fifth principle is wisdom sharing and i say that and when we talk to clients about it it's it's misunderstood at different points you know each of us had a 30 plus year career with fulfillment and engaging and relationships and helping leading mentoring others but finding a way to to to move from your career where you have all this experience all of these stories uh these values everything that you've learned to take that and move it into an area where you can serve others going forward is so important you know when my dad retired at 65 he was the most engaging inspiring happy friendly great guy ever that would be a wonderful coach or mentor for people but he took all that experience and he wrapped it up and he put it in a box and he tied it up with a bow and he put it on the shelf in the garage and then he slid into retirement and it it killed him frankly it killed him because he didn't have this engagement right where he could help others he really lost his way and you know your experience your skills your talents your stories are all meaningful to help others as they're developing their pathway and if you think about it wisdom sharing through volunteering is a great way to get started yeah sharing your time and your talent and your resources around um something that interests you a disease a cause something that aligns with your core values even if you just just give a few hours a week it's it's helpful in a couple of different areas so principle number six have a master plan and a master vision without this it's easy to spend every day wondering what's next and feeling unfulfilled with no real purpose and you're always wondering what to do you know it's funny i remember we were just flying last week and we ran into that guy who was waiting for his baggage and he just started to talk about the fact i don't know how it came up about his retirement and how he failed at retirement the first time he's probably 68 years old he left his career he had no plan lasted about six months and he went back to work because he didn't have a master plan he didn't know what he was going to do and we don't want that for you but i think the success in that story is he did go back to work and he took the time to then develop his master plan and vision for his next and final retirement which he's thoroughly enjoying and you're spending a lot of time on his vision with his family and if you're struggling right now you know you want to start to write a little bit we talk about journaling all the time what's missing from your retirement and what's holding you back from retiring where do you see yourself living and how do the five pillars fit in you know our our whole course and our whole um business business is around the five pillars physical wellness mental wellness relationships spouse partner relationship and wisdom sharing with a wrap-up of communities around it so principle number seven there's going to be a transition that takes place there's going to be a transition when you leave your career and you enter this new phase it can be hard you know it's hard for everybody so you're not alone from career into retirement there are challenges around you know identity losing your work friends and your work family those 40 free hours that you've now gotten back they're a blessing but what are you going to do with it you know we reference this great book and we'll leave the notes down below again the way of transition by william bridges and it's the three stages of transition one is letting go so you need to let go of your old identity then you end up in a neutral zone where you're not really it's really you used to be and you haven't figured out who the new you is right and you can stay there for a little while i was there for five years after let me tell you after i read this book i realized i was in a neutral zone for five years i couldn't let go of my old identity i wasn't really sure what i wanted to do right and i was still and it's messy it was awful there's regret remorse and all of that so the transition is tough so you need to realize it's going to happen and you need to embrace it so just so that you're clear it's letting go the neutral zone which is chaos and then the new you and that's the part that you can really that's when you do that then you come out full steam ahead and it's great principle number eight we kind of stole from my mom she was a big fan of saying you know pick your heart and what she always meant by that was you know it's hard to diet but it's hard to carry around 20 extra pounds it's hard to retire but it's hard to work when you're not feeling fulfilled right right it's hard to go to the gym and it's hard to be in you know where you're just laying around so i can't remember the example she gave you at the time but in retirement it's different and some things are better and some things are worse but you've got to pick your heart you know it's hard for us to work on our relationship and to communicate better and better and to give each other advice and to give each other space but it's a lot harder for us not to talk and to be mad at each other and to pass in the hallway and just not say anything so you've got to figure out what's what's most important to you and i think you get it right it's hard to grow and it's hard to live in a fixed mindset which is another youtube video that we had done love your mom for that pick your heart yep now look these eight principles go hand in hand with our five pillars so keep this in mind as you live this phase and pick your heart you know you're gonna have a plan or not have a plan if you enjoyed this please share with your friends and also subscribe by clicking the button below and finally join our free facebook community jody and i go live in there every tuesday we take your questions we have a lot of fun the link is in the notes below thank you guys for listening and we look forward to seeing you again soon you

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Why is Everyone So Tired in Retirement?

you know after slugging it out for over 30 years in Corporate America I was exhausted when retirement arrived I really needed a break and I needed a break too so we spent the first few months in retirement really doing nothing nothing meaningful right well hanging around kind of lazy mornings turning into lazy days into lazy weeks and maybe even lazy months but we knew something had to change or we were doomed we wanted our dreams of a fulfilling retirement to become a reality so we had to make some changes so today we're going to share with you some strategies that you can try so that you're full of energy every single day and take on anything that comes your way but before we go further we'd like to introduce ourselves my name is Mark Rollins and I'm Jody Rollins and we started retirement transform not only for us but for all of you and the other 10 000 people turning 65 every day now we don't focus on anything Financial none of the aspects financially or retirement but we focus on lifestyle Health relationships and more and listen if you're new here please hit the Subscribe button and also the notification button so you'll get notified when our videos come out so let's jump into all the things that tend to make you and me tired especially in retirement okay the first thing that gets you tired too much downtime and that might just be for instance watching too much TV and I don't know if you know this or not but the average number of hours people over the age of 65 watch TV each week is 38 hours a week that's like Couch Potato syndrome it is and you have to be careful with that because it does make you tired nothing wrong with watching a Netflix series or some TV but you can't do it six or eight hours a day yeah lack of movement will really keep your body and your mind tired you have to find ways to move your body even 20 minutes a day just getting out walk 10 minutes One Direction and 10 minutes back and you will feel very different what happens if you walk seven minutes one way and four minutes back and then you have to do 10 jumping jacks oh and then all right because you're going to be late yeah but there's a scientific study multiple scientific studies that say moving 20 minutes a day can extend your life by five years who wouldn't want that exactly exactly so the first one is too much downtime the second one is poor nutrition and we know you've heard this before but please just make believe you're hearing it for the first time poor food choices fast food sweets and too much eating out or even eating late is bad for you being mindful of what your comfort food is and how much you go to it is also something to be aware of yeah I think that you know for us we're getting a lot better with nutrition and really because we're starting to really pay attention to what our ordering tells us about sleep and how we feel but also just our body when we put certain foods in our body we really pay attention to how we feel and having wine or drinks and a late dinner at night we both know we're going to have an awful night's sleep but you didn't bite on comfort food comfort food I you know I need to stay away from comfort food fried chicken Oreo cookies chocolate chip cookies that's the stuff that my mother always made for me and it was Comfort I I need to stay away from that yeah and I know I know it's hard to in retirement to stay away from wine and drinks maybe that's me but um you just be mindful of it and to give your yourself and your body a break from it is really a good feeling yeah and all of what we just talked about leads into the third uh item to make you tired which is getting poor sleep and honestly we need to do an entire video on sleep because I just looked and we really haven't spent enough time on this and the importance of getting a good night's sleep most people need seven to eight hours of good sleep in order to feel good and have high energy absolutely and you know the eating late too much alcohol just doesn't help that you a good portion of our lives in Corporate America and you as an entrepreneur entertaining clients and living that way eating late entertaining clients some wine with dinner and we knew it wasn't sustainable so what makes us think in retirement that that would be sustainable well it's funny because our last five years of work really we were probably working harder than ever before we were entertaining harder than ever before that was our normal and when we got to retirement that normal didn't work for us it really didn't so you just have to be able and to think about making some life changes and it's not easy but it's doable so we have sleep as the third one good sleep quality sleep not just time in bed right the fourth one is really lack of routines during your career you had your routines wired I know you did you had a morning routine during your career and then you were off to work and your day was planned a lot of time your schedule was filled before you even got into the office but many people enter retirement and the last thing they want to do is have a routine I know and you know we hear that a lot but we also hear from our clients when they start with a routine even a basic routine going to bed at the same time getting up at the same time and it doesn't have to be 5 a.m like me I mean you don't get up at five minutes you've got your own routine I don't sleep I do but you have a routine once they start plugging in a routine getting up at the same time every day plugging in a little bit of uh walking for 20 minutes and exercise maybe on top of that doing some meditation with a app like headspace mindfulness that really starts to kick in their energy level and makes them feel better in their retirement phase and you know I really resisted this idea of setting a regular time to go to sleep and a time to wake up in retirement and I don't know if you remember I pushed back pretty hard on Mark started at like 10 o'clock we're gonna you know go to bed at 10 o'clock or you know he wants to be in bed at 10 o'clock which really many wanted to be asleep at 10 o'clock which meant bed 9 30.

Yeah but you also weren't going to let me go to bed alone that's just a me thing right so you so you dragged along with it I did you laid there with your eyes open for an hour in the beginning well I would read or something but but oddly enough our clock kept kind of going backwards the other thing I'd say about routines is I got a call this week from one of our 25 year olds we have two 25 year old twins Jordan that lives in New York City and she said you know something mom starting Monday getting back to my routine and I found that so interesting that the self-care part of routine and sleep and waking and all of that is being ingrained in the younger generation which is great it is great so another reason that you might be tired you could have some underlying health issues that you don't know about it's so important to go to your doctor at least once a year and have things checked out because as we age things in our body change and it could be that there's something going on that's keeping you awake at night that's making you feel tired during the day so going to see your doctors on a regular basis is so important yeah there I mean there could definitely be some issues going on that need to be addressed and you know we have friends that actually have said to us we never go to the doctor because we don't want to look for trouble and I'm just not sure that that's a great way to live through this phase of your life yeah and you know in retirement if you're not exercising and you're eating and drinking more than you used to you're going to gain weight a lot of people gain weight in retirement now all of a sudden you pick up an extra 10 15 20 pounds and it's slowly so you don't notice it but that leads to diabetes so you want to get your heart checked you want to get your body checked you want to go see your doctor I recently went to the doctor and found out that I had plaque buildup on some of my arteries that's it yeah it's a scare I suppose but it also has helped get me focused on doing the right thing eating better exercise and getting good sleep yep because that you're on could be out of balance again this goes back to checking with your doctor you know if you're not sleeping and you're gaining weight and you're having trouble going to the bathroom or you're going too much you know find out why it's just not something to sweep under the rug yeah you know if you're getting up four times a night to go to the bathroom it could be as simple as you shouldn't drink water two hours before you go to bed or it could be something else or it could be a medication that you shouldn't take in the afternoon you should take in the morning or yes the important thing we're trying to get across here is see your doctor check your meds you know I was pre-diabetic seven years ago and I changed that with diet and exercise so you can actually be proactive and make some changes as well don't have your doctor just say here's some meds talk to them more about what some of the things you can do to change your lifestyle to become healthier so we hit the doctor we hit the meds let's go to the seventh thing that we came up with you know dehydration dehydration for sure will make you tired that's a no-brainer it leads to all sorts of problems poor sleep heart rate issues blood pressure problems brain damage even death you had an episode a couple of summers ago with dehydration I did I was working in the yard I was working really hard I was sweaty and I wasn't drinking water did all that work it was a hot humid day showered we got dressed to go to dinner we walked down the street to have dinner you know I don't know 500 feet and right in the beginning of the dinner basically long story short I just went down and I fainted and I had to be taken to the hospital and that was preventable it's not hard to effects you need to drink one half your body weight in ounces of water that's a minimum I weigh 160 pounds that's 80 ounces of water a day that's seven to twelve glasses of water a day it's not that hard right right it really isn't it really is and it's so so important to do that so listen it's okay to have lazy days it's okay to splurge with food and wine you know it's okay to binge watch TV but not every day not for your optimal retirement it just isn't sustainable and there's nothing worse than feeling tired all day long and you know people that say that right they get up and they say oh tired midday they're like oh my God I'm so tired yeah don't you get tired of hearing people say how tired they are yeah and maybe some people just say it but you don't have to it doesn't have to be like that right you want to try a day or even a week implementing what we shared today and see if there's any changes that play take place see how you feel you actually might like it you might find a new normal and it becomes a habit now we hoped you like these strategies and changes that we talked about today check out our next video extend your life in retirement by avoiding these four bad habits these are definite changes you need to make so watch this video to go deeper on extending your life and being healthier

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